Tuesday, April 08, 2008 . 1:04 AM
A girlpal of mine is getting married in May. She's my age. We kinda have a long entwined history. She is a really sweet girl, whom i wish to be a closer friend to her but never got to chance to, even though she just stays in the next blk.
I'm really happy for her. She had her history of ups and downs with her ex bfs, one of them whom i knew cos he was from my JC. I'm really glad that she was smart enuff to get out of bad pits and eventually she got together with her cell group leader. Things had been going well for her.
I had 2nd thoughts about telling my mom about her wedding.
But tonight, i told her.
In the past, i always thought that my mom doesn't want me to ever get married. Her response to my dating were not so....encouraging. But somehow that kinda changed within this past year. I can't describe how unnerving and scary that change is to me. NOw it seems as if she can't wait for her daughter's turn to be married off. After all, she's OLD ENUFF TO BE MARRIED. And her bf is OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE MONEY TO GET MARRIED.
So after i told her about the friend's wedding ( she knows my friend and her mom), she was like saying...that's good...if the guy is stable and good..it's about time...family background not bad..both families able to help with the wedding financially etc... and then she added,' i don't even know if Albert and you will be able to marry in 2 years' time.'
Let me decipher my mom's wise words if you haven't catch her morbid sarcastic humor. She meant to say 1) Albert has no money 2) Since he has no money, we need a longer longer much longer time to get married 3) AND WE ARE GETTING OLD
My mom has no issues with Albert's personality and character. She has an issue with his lack of money.
I seriously don't understand the logic. And i really hate the idea of being pushed to get married as if I SHOULD BE GETTING MARRIED NOW.
I'm ONLY 26! In actual fact, when i happened to be chatting with my friend tonight (the one who is getting married in May), when i looked at her, i can't believe she's getting married! I mean we are of the same age, i dare say we have the same maturity level, and i saw a girl in her that is reflected in me as well. But she's getting married! Wow...i mean, what a heavy load of responsibility and a huge step of faith and growth in one's live to make a decision to get married.
When i see myself, i see a child. I don't see myself as an adult ready to be more adultish.
I don't see myself having my own house, paying my own PUB bills, making my own dinner and my husband's, washing our clothes, making decisions about which flats to buy, which furnitures, which brand of washing powder, and worse, i don't see myself ever stop playing.
It's not that i don't wan to get married. I want to. I've never been so sure about marriage. But the time is not right. I'm not ready. I'm not prepared. I've not had enough fun! I've not seen enough of what i should be seeing in this world. I'm just a bloody kid!
Even if my bf is a well-doing professional who could probably get married easily ( bcos he has teh money) and probably his family is really good and stable and i've been with him for a year or so, would i be getting married soon?
I don't think so. Do we get married becos we are old enough to do so?
I like to get married when i'm 28 or older. That's my choice. Why can't i be proud of my choice?
Is marriage something to be forced into, even when you are not ready? I miss my family. I don't want to stay away from my parents. But if u ask me if i wanna stay with them after marriage, the answer is no. So the only way is to stick to them as long as i can before i'm ready to be married off.
I don't see anything wrong with having an opinion about being married later. It's my marriage. And i'm happy with my choices. I'm not making such choice only because i don't have the means to get married now. I'm contented and happy being happily attached. Why shorten the time of boy-girl relationship? Once you proceed on to another stage, it will never come back.
It's perfectly my choice and decision. And i'm happy.
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