Sunday, September 30, 2007 . 12:07 AM
Dear All or ANyone who happened to be reading,
I'm glad the week is over. This marks my 3rd week at the new work place. I'm finally settling in more. New found friends. I'm beginning to relax more and juz do my things. I can't say work had been exciting. It was still mainly training and training and more filings and more documentations. My new found aim/aspiration here would be to be able to quit one day.
I've thought about it hard. A part of me wish i could be a career minded woman that i once thought i would be when i thought about my aspirations back in Sec school days. After that, my aspirations kinda spiraled downwards, actually i won't say downwards...there's nothing wrong with wanting to be a tai tai right? Actually, i don't REALLY want to b a tai tai. I juzt want to take life easy, and do wat i want to do. I don't wan to slog THAT hard...i juz want to enjoy wat i do. I don't wan to OT, unless it's for my own business... if i can earn a gd living with dancing, i don't see y i need to slog so hard in the corporate world. If i can wake up at 11am everyday, and decide how flexible i wan my work to be, y do i want to be stuck in a corporate world where i have to drag my miserable lazy bones out of bed every morning. Right? Am i right? I'm juz not built to work 9-6pm work. I'm of cos horribly incapable of working from 9-god knows watever unearthly hours.
Yet, a part of me wants to fulfill that career woman dreams. So, at least i tried and i know how it feels like. A few years down, i will make a decision about where i wanna head. There are many paths i could take from being a CRA. And if i can work at home, i would opt for that. If i could go into medical writing...i'm not sure if i could....that' would b nice. Would be even nicer if it's home based. If not, if my dancing career really picks up, i would b going into dance teaching and also competition etc. What a life. I really don't believe in working my life away. I'm not here on earth to just work.
This new work place is the 1st place i've seen that has a number of dancers. Of cos they are causal social dancers lar. NOt really like me. And here comes the dilemma, i actually don't wan my colleagues to know abt my involvement in dance. When i say this, im also not sure if u guys understand wat i'm trying to say. Bcos i have a feeling that u guys also don't understand...so i seldom talks abt it. Derrick plan to train me to become a professional, let's give each other 5 years. of cos i may not take that long. Professional is not full time, it's juz a level of dancing. There are novice, pre-amateur, amateur, professional. There are pple who learn dancing from classes, those are normal pple... they social dance, they seldom can do performance n competitive dancing. There are some who does performance and competitive dancing and there can't social dance (esp for dancers who specialises in Latin dances) and there some who can do both. But how many can do latin(5 dances) and ballroom(5 dances) and salsa, bachata, merengue. There are pple who of cos after social dancing for like 10 years, they know all these dances. Knowing doesn't mean u can do it well. Those are all the chimalogy theories and experiences from the dance world, i shall not elaborate. I've aldy known half the total no of dances. And i'm not ONLY a social dancer. That's all i can say. How do u explain dance, to pple who doesn't understand dance. Dance is a really deep thing. That's also what i can say here. Hence, i chose not to tell my colleagues too much. I always say that i used to learn Salsa, now i've crossed over to learning ballroom. The truth is, i practice 3 times a week. And i've been learning dancing for 2 years now. I don't learn Salsa anymore but i dance it at least once a week for probably only 10 mins ha in MOunt Faber Safra. I don't just learn Ballroom dances, i do them well to the level of normal pple learning ballroom for at least 3-5 years. That's my level now. Bcos y? It's very tough and if noone is there to really teach you, u will never learn to dance decently even if u dance for 20 years. How do i know? I've seen many examples throughout my visits to dance places.And i know much more about dance than my colleagues think i know.
Does it feel gd to keep everythign to myself? No. I'm not the kind of person who wants to keep things to myself. I rather b clean and open to everything. But i'm not really trying to keep these to myself. It's onli becos pple won't understand. Even when i tell my friends, they don't understand. How do u explain dance to pple who doesn't understand dance? exactly. They can look and appreciate when pple dance, but pple who are long time dancers, those professionals, they look at dance VERY differently from others. I can't prove this. But i've been told i danced alright by my frens while the dance professionals commented that i'm good. So do i trust my friends or the professionals? I can't please everyone anyway. Not all professional dancers can please everyone as well, there are bound to be pple who prefer another style or speed or feeling than you etc.
The last thing that i wan is my colleagues to think that i'm so involved in dancing that i'm so drained and i can't put all my attention at work. I'm not paranoid but well, if they do not know that i'm so involved, they won't be able to 'detect' that i'm not putting all my energy in work. That's how i think.
So i'm really leading 2 lives. One is the one i go to work everyday, and another life is the one i carried on after work.
Friday, we had mexican food. The whole bunch of us went, but only one of us is a Singaporean. Haha..I muz say my colleagues are a fun bunch of pple. But i felt left out in a way. I think i'm still adapting. Then we went to Union Square. And i can't say that i had a great time. There were no males who are able to dance. So i had to kinda teach them. And i can't expect them to lead. In the end, i taught one of my female colleagues, who had enuff dance backgrounds( ballet,jazz,hip hop). I didn't really teach her. I juz taught her the really basic steps and we said we shall juz follow the music and juz go along. SO i had to be the male. I haven't gone pass beginners' class for male's steps u know. And that was like 2 mths back? So i led her, and i was creating new steps my own, that i've seen guys done it. Kinda proud of myself. We had fun. But i was actually quite bored lar. I'm aldy in the mood to let go and show all my moves, argh. So very sian. Then we all went home at ard 12.30am lor. We reached there ard 11pm k. So early go home liao. But anyway, i'm not v keen at being 'picked up' by unknown males to dance. I juz hate that idea that i need pple to ask mi to dance. Yew.
So i had a good time dancing today actually when i went for practice. The Usual Fillipino DJ whom i liked alot went back to Philippines for holiday. There was a new old DJ. He played Salsa a few times, usually the other DJ doesn't put much Salsa,mayb once in a few hrs. So i finally got a chance to finish wat i didn't get to finish last nite.
My mom actually gave mi alot of problems this morning. Yes i feel like a rubber band stretched in all directions. I feel stretched by my work, new life, trying to adapt and trying to arrange my life according to the new work. Arrange my dance to fit also. I'm stressed out by upcoming performance where i need to performance FOUR dances. I'm stressed out by the steep learning curve. I'm not stupid, but there are sometimes onli so much i can learn before i become information overload. There are so many new things for mi to learn, and then at this great timing, my instructor decides to load mi with more thigns as well. I'm still trying very hard to adapt to the new sleeping time. I'm working so hard to sleep earlier everyday but i can't say i've been very successful but i'm trying! Yet i'm tired everyday. When ur tired, ur learning capacity is worse! So now my mom expects mi to ....i donoe wat she expects, basically i'm juz not doing enuff at home.........again!!! I feel like i'm going to snap really. I've cried like 3 times this week bcos i couldn't take it. The 3rd time was today, juz before i headed out for dance.
Who understands?
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Friday, September 28, 2007 . 12:12 AM
Mid- Autumn Festival celebration with my cell grp. Sad to say onli the 4 of us remained towards the night. Earlier in the day, we went to Settler's Cafe. Some came n go. Anyways, was a super long day on Sunday. had church service, then went Settler's, then went over to Bukit Gombak CC to celebrate the festival in advance. Phoebe, my cell grp member is a committee member there and she invited us. So we went, esp for Sarah, as this is her 1st experience of the festival, so it was a gd chance for us to bring her around.
So the 4 of us practically spent the whole day together, and thus i feel we are very much bonded haha.. The cafe experience and the festival opened Sarah up to us more. SO yaps. Got to thank God for these. And not to mention yes i was dead dead tired, but at least there are gd things that came out of all these yeah.
Our lantern procession around Gombak area, arranged by the CC for the kids. Yes we were the only non-parents around, the only adults carrying lanterns. It was really nostalgic man. But i got really tired juz by walking ard -_-. Phoebe,me,WeeHwa and Sarah.
At the outside of the CC, we were waiting for the guess riddle games to start. That's a traditional game, definite must play during the festival. I wasn't really enthu at it. In fact, it was one of the rare few times that i actually was around for the riddle games. Weehwa was really enthu about the game.
ALL the riddles on each piece of paper. ONe for each piece. And there were 100 for pple to guess. This was before it started. But when it started, it was really crowded. Sarah and i sat on one of the rows of chairs, it was just after the lantern poccession. Weehwa went to Q up to play the game. And i think for the next 1 -1.5 hr, WeeHwa and Phoebe were still guessing!!! Sarah and i got kinda bored lar actually. She, being a US citizen, couldn't understand watever was going on altho i tried my best to explain to her how it works and all. But u know..it's hard to explain when the chinese language and characters themselves are so difficult to grasp. I was bored. In fact i was falling asleep. I muz b the most unchinese of all chinese pple. I'm not saying i'm angmoh or wat...it's juz that i'm kinda dissociated from some of these things, and over time, i have forgotten how all these things worked. I don't rem having all these things in m'sia. I rem the legends/tales that comes with Mid-Autumn, ok truthfully, i'm not too sure about them. So i had to go to wikipedia and checked the whole thing out. Things about Chang-er, jade rabbit, Houyi etc etc...so that i could tell Sarah about the whole thing. Apparently there are so many variations to the story that i myself got really confused. 
At Xiao Guilin after i finally managed to pull WeeHwa off the game....we lit candles! and of cos the sparklers!
The gals!
Work had been quite fine. Tho i must admit, i broke down once this week. ALl the stress from dancing and work......i couldn't take it anymore. Anyway, i prayed to GOd etc..and i do feel that i'm strengthened and gave him everything and i'm up on my feet once again, as if nothing happened. I think i'm finally settling in. I get stressed over having nothing to do. And it's really borign to juz read all the policies, SOPs and documents.
Tomoro, we having mexican food at HOlland V for dinner. And then we are heading down to Union Square for Salsa! How cool. HOpe this would b a great bonding time for all of us.
There are so many socialisation in my life now that i really wish i can have more time to myself. I don't even really want to have Albert coming over. I juz wan to b ALONE.
Sunday, September 23, 2007 . 12:10 AM
I'm pretty proud of myself. I'm settling in more now. I've taken bus to work on Thurs and Friday. Can u imagine? it's been donkey years since i took public transport to work. So yes i'm terribly proud of myself.
I realised hey it's really not difficult to get to work by taking bus! But that's only cos i realised now that bus 183 comes really frequent, like every 5-10 mins there's one bus. And it's always the 1st bus that comes after a 10 mins, it's gonna b crowded. I hate to stand. It's bad enuff humans have to work. It's almost like hell if u got to stand and there's traffic jams all over the place. The 2nd one within 5 mins is always...well not that full, at least i can find seats. That's my experience.......after 2 days HA. I also realised that to get to my work place, i take only about 20 mins. Hence i can afford to leave my hse later than 8.30am and still get to work at ard 9.10am etc...
ANyway, noone would really care or know wat time i get to work, that's also my experience after 2 weeks there. That's cos they are too busy and they usually come in after 9.30...or 10+am.
So i've played cheat alittle, i left work earlier than 6pm on some days. Cos noone would raelly know wat time i come in anyway! The ones who came earlier than mi left earlier than me, get wat i mean? the rest came later than me. ANyway work had been rather boring. Alot of training modules and other paperworks which i have not much clue abt wat i'm doing. I'm basically juz doing what i'm told. Thru the daily lunch, i got closer to some of my colleagues. Now to the point where i have one of their msn. I'm working closely with this British lady, who in my opinion has a really exciting life. Last weekend she went diving at some offshore m'sian island. On friday, i saw her cubicle had her backpack and sleeping bag, and i asked where is she going man. She's flying off to bangkok over the weekends with husband. The next weekend, she's going dragonboat training with her husband. Apparently, she's in some canadian team. She invited mi to the dragonboat, but ah pls...look how petite i am. I think i'll melt in the dragonboat under the steaming sun. Anyway, i would b having mexican food with her this coming friday after work, with a few ONZ colleague. And after that, gez where are we going? We are going to UNION SQUARE for a night of salsa dancing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW COOL IS THAT?!!!!!!!!!!
MY god..my colleagues seems like a fun bunch. I think i'm really going to enjoy myself in this company. When i finally settle down and put my paranoid to rest that is. Salsa dancing!!! so cool!!
I didn't tell them that about how committed i am to dancing. They only have an idea that i dance alot..etc...anyway some of them know salsa too, some juz going to see see look look. SO onz..
One colleague is from Mauritius. And he happened to know Lloyd, a gd friend of mine who is also from Mauritius. The world is pretty small. And he was once enrolled in a dance scholarship from one of the dance schools here. But he dropped out. We kinda talked alot of abt dance...
I realised that i'm also quite stressed out by the daily happenings at work. All my energy had been channeled into work. NOw i understand y Bernice was so tired when she just started her 1st job after she grad. I've been SOOO damn tired that i couldn't wake up everyday on time. And before 11pm i'll feel like im brain dead, i was not able to even THINK anymore. I'm so mentally drained, physically drained as well. Monday, tues and sat, i still had to go for dance.
Today i went for dance practice and felt like nothing could go into my head. I feel like i'm getting more n more dumb. I'm not having enuff rest i gez? I don have enuff personal time either. I don't even have time to go somewhere n get my stuffs. I juz don't have.
This morning, my bro was supposed to bring my dad to see doc at ave 2. MY dad had developed rashes around his butt and upper thighs. ANd the cream he was applying has finished. BUT my bro overslept and didn't do so, he had classes in the noon. I was so tired, i woke up at 12pm. I wouldn't have slept so much if i had known that he didn't manage to bring my dad to see the doc. He had promised to do so the previous nite. And then i had to rush for dance. And after dance, rush to NUS to watch a dance performance. But then later on i was told that the performance will start at 8pm instead of 7pm. SO i had some time in b/w and realised that i can bring my dad to the clinic now, i'm afraid that the rashes will become v bad by monday. Sunday the clinics are closed. Monday noon, then my bro is free to bring him. ANd albert was with me, so he could help me. I went home to ask my dad to prepare, he went over to ave 2 to look for a clinic that's opened. Most of the clincs were closed except for one. So we pushed my dad on a wheelchair over. ANd iwas starving like crazy. Seen the doctor and it turned out to be fungal infection. So that really needs oral medication and cream for him to apply if not he wont' recover. Should have brought him to see the doc. But then i didn't have a chance to see his 'rashes' before. Apparently it has been ongoing for THREE freaking months and i didn't even know abt it!!! what kind of daughter am i?
I onli got to see the 'rashes' at the doctor's room for the 1st time somemore!!! Why? bcos there's this awkwardness about me checking my dad's butts out mah............................. it's erm..weird. But then again, there's actually nothing much. Next time if there's such a thing, i shouldn't feel awkward abt it and my dad shdn't as well. It's for the better good mah. If i had seen his 'rashes' i would know it's not RASHES! i've kinda seen enuff gross pictures in uni to know that those red patches are not rashes lar....
ANyway Albert had been a really great help. I think my dad enjoys his company as well. Everytime that Albert goes along with us, my dad is always in a gd mood. He's always smiling and chatting away. Like tonight, he chatted so much with us. After seeing the doc, we went for dinner but my dad aldy had dinner at home, so he juz sat with us and chatted with us. SO i muz say we all enjoyed ourselves n was a really good family bonding time for mi and dad. In a way, the addition of Albert to my family has drawn us all closer, even my mom.
So in the end, i couldn't make it for the dance performance. Hai. But...i desperately needed some time to do my own things (more like for my dad), and not rush around from one place to another. I had enuff of rushing aldy. I'm really so tired.
Tomorrow, my cell group will b going to settler's cafe for a time of fellowship and bonding. And at nite, we are going to bukit gombak CC area to play lanterns and sparklers to celebrate the coming mid autumn festival. We are so happening. I'm glad that everyone is so onz to make it happen. Our group is definitely drawing closer n closer. Not that i wanna boast, i set out to be the assistant leader to wanna improve and change things. God had given me a chance to. And i know i'm not the only one who made it happen. I'm juz doing what God wants me to do thru me, to bless the group, to draw everyone closer. I'm glad that many good things are happening within the group. It would b another tiring day for me. Then another long week of work. SIghz. I really need to pray for strength. =)
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Tuesday, September 18, 2007 . 11:39 PM
U know i've been really trying to be thankful for this job, the colleagues and environment. But seriously, i'm finding it hard to adapt to it yet. After being stuck in the lab for almost 3 years, office life is a little hard to get used to. I won't say i'm a person who is not adaptable. I think i'm rather adaptable actually. ANd i'm not saying lab experience is useless, it's juz different. Labels: careers
The last office (as in REAL office) life of mine was back in the CPF days when i graduated from JC and was working there as a temp. Altho i was a temp, my workload was like a permanent staff. WHen i left 5 months later, i had a huge box of files of cases that i've left behind for the next person to take over. At that time, i was actually pretty happy with office life. Mayb cos we were paid hourly. The more u worked, the more money u get. 1.1k for an JC grad a month was not bad leh.
A few more days in this workplace made mi understand a few things.
1st, i think i'm deficient in my PR, socializing skills. For watever reasons, i think i'm too tensed up or something. I don't know y. I think i must b too paranoid over this and that. ANd i've no idea WHY the hell i'm being paranoid. The more a thing is important to me, the more i get serious abt it. I don't know y this job seems so important to me either. Seriously, i've been thinking it would b great if i'm not working in an office haha..THERE goes the irony!!!! See, i've been wanting to get out of lab, and when i'm out and managed to switch to an office, i wish i'm somewhere else. Wish i don't have to work. WOrking is seriously not for me.
OK, plus there's this pressure that i gave myself, about socialising. There are so many colleagues, it's of cos impossible to get to know everyone well. And i also of cos understand that time is required to build any relationship/friendship up. I'm worrying about whether i'm socialising enuff, whether i'm being friendly enuff, whether i'm taking the initiatives enuff. I'm basically trying to change myself into another person? I don't know since when that i haev the tendency to be anti social. Muz b something that retained from my ex workplace, since i kept away from most of my ex colleagues when i already had the idea that i wanna leave that place.
So yes i gez, it's a big effort on my part to appear to want to socialise? Even simple things like bidding gdbyes to colleagues as i leave the place is a little daunting to me. I'm so not used to doing that! But well, i still did, bcos i still know what is politically correct things to do.
I think i'm giving myself too much pressure to perfect everything. I wish to start right on everything of cos. I don't wan to give a bad impression and give myself problems with colleagues in the future.
So the 2nd thing i realised about myself is that i'm actually not a bo chup person. IN fact, i look for perfection in whatever i'm doing. Altho on the surface i looked cold and cannot be bothered, but i do want to do things well. So.... i made myself miserable. And i made myself feel dreadful about going to work like i'm a spoilt little kid (but i think that's mainly cos i hate to work that's y...) Anyway, i think i've been trying to control my own career and life, trying so hard to steer everyting in the right directions. MY RIGHT directions, what i think is right, and it's kinda draining me. I realised i shd give them to GOd and ask Him to pls take control.
Besides, GOd put me in this place right? Yes i really think so. Bcos of many factors which i shall not dicuss here. I don't know y God placed me here, but i take it that it's something i have to go thru, for how long i do not know. At this point, when i juz started, i aldy have thoughts about doing something else. hahaha...wah lauz. what am i doing man! So God placed me here, it can't be to harm me right? So if he placed me here, then He would guide mi and bless me and protect mi from whatever harm. SO y am i worrying so much? argh.
3rd, i realised i shd treasure my own after office hrs time for myelf more, like dancing, like staying home etc. Bcos i hate going to work. The only time i really enjoy myself is dance, or at home with my family. I juz wan to see familar things. Since when ....did i start developing a fear for the unfamilar thigns and yearn to be in somewhere familar? hmm...it's strange really...
4th, i shd still be myself. I'm juz never going to be the kind of person who makes lots of noise. I'm always the quite one in a group. But i wish to open up more. I don't know y. It's been a long long time since i've seen the other side of myself, the gal who would jovially joke and play or disturb pple. What has happened to me man.
5th and surely not the last, i realised that ...i really want to be a tai tai.
I HATE TO WORK. Thank you for reading everyone.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007 . 10:11 PM
There's a part of me that strongly wish that my life can be like the past and have never changed..at least not so drastically? Labels: careers
Everything that is more familiar to me has been replaced by some new things. There are probably too many things to handle at the moment.
DO i miss my old work place? Kinda miss it. Can't imagine i'll say that one day...but yeah i do. Bcos i get to slack? WEll.....more like i have more freedom to handle my own time in a lab setting. And becos i'm new to the current place, of cos i can't do watever i wan. I have to observe and see if it's permissible and acceptable or not.
This place has so far been nice. I expected some hiccups on the 1st day but was quite smooth. As in i was thinking, mayb they haven't got my access card ready, my pc ready, my password ready or watever. But everything was ready. My supervisor is really nice. He introduced mi to everyone and briefed me, even took care of my access problems and any problems that i had. He came around to check on me every now and then to make sure things are ok. This place is very female working environment. Males...i think less than 10 males, in addition of the finance department which is in another office nearby.
The pple are really friendly, they would come over and say hi even if i don't go over to introduce myself. It's more of a relaxed environment where the upper levels mingle with the lower levels easily like friends. I should be thankful, that my colleagues are really nice. This will make working there very enjoyable, in the future.
For now, of cos i'm not really enjoying myself much. There are nothing much for me to do. All i do are filling and more filling, data keying...learning some new things..and i think that would take up most of my 6 mths probation here, till i'm qualified to do more. There is a list of online modules that i have to take and learn, that would take mi 4- more than 6 months. I don mind that..at least i get to learn things.
But seriously, i'm trying to adjust as much as i can. I don't look forward to working bcos deep down i still prefer being a tai tai. HAHA. I'm really not meant to be working lar pls. I couldnt' even get up in the morning. And i had a hard time getting up these 2 days LOR! I had to get up at 7.30am nowadays to make it to office by 9am. That's cos now i have to put some makeup etc..wah lau wat a waste of time which could be spent snuggling under my blankets when the weather is so gd. But what drives me now is the fear of what my supervisor thinks of me. I'm always that sensitive and alittle paranoid. But if i'm too slack, then i'm going to really make that place my home and all my ugly work attitude will come out. So i dragged myself out of bed 'willingly', in order to give my supervisor a gd impression. Anyway 9am start work, 6pm get off. IF not i have to work till later. Everyone in the office tells me that i better enjoy this period while i can becos when i really have projects and work coming in, i'll b super busy. I doubt i'll b as busy as them, they sometimes work till 9 or 10pm. My god. See y i'm feeling as if i'm traumatized.
The office tends to be quite empty sometimes bcos pple go out to sites ( hospitals) and some are overseas doing monitoring jobs. Doesn't sound very fun to me.
The relationship i have with this place is alittle complicated actually. The boy that my mom used to babysit, his mom works as the finance manager there. Altho having such a big shot whom i am quite/very acquainted with can be a very gd thing, bcos noone would bully you (but then again, the big shots mingle ard like old friends with the small flies...so i don think that is much use anyway), but yes i do think it's v stressful. Bcos of expectations. The weird and awkward thing that i can't handle is, i'm so used to calling her aunty. Bcos she's juz like my aunt, a family u know.. and the next thing i know i'm her colleague and i got to call her by her name. ALAMAK. The 1st day, i had a slip of the tongue and blurted out my aunty greetings, then everyone had a gd laff at me and her. Huida's friend is a senior CRA there, and she had been very helpful and also taking gd care of me. She seemed to b really close to this aunty man. I mean it's complicated. And i know Andrea. The gal who introduced mi to the job. And then, Andrea is leaving, her last day on next monday. I'm so sad. WE really no fate. We only had the fate to b neighbors, uni classmates, labmates and campus crusade mates. Ok actually we are quite fated haha...juz that this time..we kinda missed each other..juz like that. so sad.
Friday, the colleagues would be holding a farewell party for her and another ex colleague whom i have not met before. It doesn't matter, it's an ex colleague liao mah haha..muz concentrate on the future colleagues before me. It's a gathering at FOUR SEASONS CONDO....that condo near FOUR SEASONS HOTEL. ONe of the senior staffs's house wor. my gosh. If u ask me, i don't really wan to go. I mean i hardly know the pple, i hardly understands their intimate jokes about each other. And i've to juz go? Gez wat? i said ok i'll go. BCOS, i can't afford to start on the wrong foot yeah? I have to go and network right? If i had known better, i shd have said i'm busy this friday or something. Man........well...pray and hope that somethign gd will come out of this. I hate socializing nowadays. I juz wan my old life back. I wan to go dancing, i've not been dancing much. I wan to go home n watch tv till late. I wan to watch youtube and chat on msn. Youtube is baned in my company. MSN i donoe, but i try not to on it yet.....
As for the pple in the company, we are like united nations. Bcos there are more foreigners than singaporeans and it's time like this i'm proud that i'm a msian hahaha..cos majority wins!Yeah!! But it's interesting. We have Filipinos, china chinese, british, american, someone from netherlands,indonesians,msians,taiwanese. Wat else.... u get the pic...
Wonder wat else would i have to do tomorow. The happiest time of the day is when i get off work haha...i gez i used to feel like this when i 1st started my job at the previous place. I wonder how long would i take to settle down and start feeling secured and relaxed.
The good old days. These photos were taken like 3-4 months after i joined the lab. Was the danish couple's farewell bbq at my ex-boss's condo. I didn't know them THAT well then too. I also felt obliged to go at that point only. But still, it's better than knowing your colleagues not more than a week and u got to go out n have 'fun' with them. If only we are going to a pub or something ...haha i don mind :P i'm shy u know............. sighz...how i miss the pple in the lab. The gd old days. Hey my hair now is back to the hair length back then!
Monday, September 10, 2007 . 5:10 PM
Some pple are born drivers, juz like some pple are born dancers.
I think i muz be somewhere in the retarded zone of driving.
Watever can go wrong WILL go wrong.
Now that i've failed, i actually feel much better. But seriously, this whole week of break came to nothing, money all spent on nothing. Missed a KL trip with Hsiaolin for nothing.
If God really allowed me to pass, i think i would b a serious hazard on the road. LOoking at my own driving, i also think i shdn't pass. But then again, everything on the test day is about how calm you are and how u access the situations. Sometimes, you are juz chao sway, which i think i was today. On other days when i was on the road for lessons, things were still quite ok..aiyah. watever.
ANyway it's over. Jan 22nd is the next test date for me. I don't feel like driving for a mth. HAHa..
I hope my pay comes in within this week. Aldy wrote a long email on sat to complain about the salary issue. Lady who corresponded with mi all these while, wrote back saying she would b giving the bank a cheque.
I have already lost all hope in......them.
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Thursday, September 06, 2007 . 9:16 PM
Helo Pple,
I know it's been days since my last day at my previous workplace. I'm sure u guys are dying to hear about my thoughts and farewell.
Actually, i kinda not want to tok abt it anymore. But if i don't get down to talking abt it, this experience would never be recorded. I have to actually flip my diary that i have written on that day itself, to remember how i felt :p
The last week, last four days were so busy for me that i hardly realised i'm really leaving this place that i have spent my (almost) good and wonderful 3 years with. Lunches were scheduled with different friends whom i wish to bid farewell to.
On of the days, we went to Sakura ..to have jap buffet during lunch. Lunch took 3 hours. Boy, i hope i have that kind of life to enjoy long lunches again in the next job :p Haha.. The two guys were users whom i got to know when they came to my lab.Long time partnership!
That's my CPU, before i tore down my stuffs and kept all the decoration excluding the calendar,puncher and xmas tree. I left the xmas tree to Huida's care and hopefully the next person who would take over the CPU.
The folded yellow flowers taped onto the CPU was folded by Huida to cheer me up when i broke up with idiotic YC, that was a REALLY long time ago.
The folded white rabbit was also done by Huida, when he was doing origami experimentations, creating different things. Rabbit even had another purple flower to go with it :p The angel and furry viking were souvenirs from was it Denmark? Huida got it for me as well.
Poster of John 3:16 was a gift from Richard. He gave it to me in remembrance of the time when he went to funan with me to look for a digicam, that was more than 2 years ago. There was a camera shop in Funan and the shop is named as John 3:16. We tot it was really cool. The yellow paper beside was obtained from Church service and it meant a great deal to me back then.
Anyway, during the spare time that i had on the last day, Huida took some photos for me in the lab. I made sure i wore my lab coats and gloves. For remembrance sake. Since i doubt i'll ever ever touch lab again.
That's my beloved Microtome machine, which had served me and many pple well. WE used it to section animal tissue/organs. During my last 2 months at work, i had quite alot of sectioning to do, so much so that i must say i developed much feelings for this machine. Bleeh.
The box that contained the sections on slides. All ready to be delivered to user. My beloved slide box.
My beloved, very useful and harmful Xylene. I believe that we would one day probably contract some cancer in our brains bcos of breathing too much of these. Absolutely loved the way i hugged my beloved Xylene.
I like using the microscope so much that i had to take another pic with it...
Huida and i. The labcoat that i was wearing was 'stolen' from outside my lab, where researcher would dump the soiled lab coats to be washed and clean labcoats collected. I couldn't find my lab coat, apparently someone else stole it. So i stole someone else's then. Huida drew the flower designs on my pocket to prevent another stealing incident. But not longer after that, i tendered my resignation. That's the bouquet of flowers he made for me. =)
I think i've put on weight..look at my face...........
For that last 4 days, i worked late for all 4 days to rush and finish all the work i had to do. I don't wan to bother Huida or leave him piles of rubbish to clear. I hope to clear as much as i can. So like i said, i really don't feel like i'm leaving. Even on the last day itself, i worked till almost 8pm. Of cos Huida didn't stay till 8pm lar. He went off at 6pm. WE said our last gdbyes as colleagues, he left, i went back to rushing my work. Then really...it hit me that i'm leaving this place. I looked at everything in my lab. U know how only Huida and i were in charged of the lab ( i said were bcos it's now him only). We arranged evrything in the lab, we know where we put everything (most of the time..sometimes we 4got where we place some stuffs until we have to use them). It's as if the lab is my 2nd home. I hate to admit that. For 2 years, i've been wanting to get out of this place. But for almost 3 years, this place had been my home. It was comfortable and cosy no doubt, if i continue staying there for years to come, i'll prob get chemical poisioning.
Huida came into the lab 8 mths after i did. I see him 5 days a week. He was my companion, close friend, confidante and it almost feel like he's a family. yes it's really sad that things will change. Feel really bad that he has to shoulder everything for these 2 mths...i know how tough it would be..
When i started deleting my pc of all the junks and documents i had stored there for the past 2 yaers ( 2 years cos the new pc onli came to mi 2 years ago), my heart ached so much. When i took down the things on CPU, felt like i'm going thru a breakup. I didn't wan to take down the things earlier bcos i didn't really wan to stare at a clean and empty CPU wall for those last few days.
Almost cried. Yes i almost cried. I'm so emotional these days. I mean it really does feel like a break up!! U know how break ups feel like right? Like a knife cutting thru ur heart literally and a numb pain that comes back again n again.
I was supposed to go dancing at Fuchun CC that night, but bcos i had to work late, i canceled my schedule. I haven't had dinner, so i called up Keith and he was ard the area. So that's how i walked out of my building for the very last time. The whole level 1 lobby was dark like hell anyway. Cos it was so late. I didn't look back. I went into Keith's car bcos he was aldy waiting for mi downstairs, with all my barang barangs...i aldy started bringing thigns home 2 weeks ago but still i realised i still had so many things to bring home. So that's how it ended.
Till now, i don't feel as if i've left. I juz feel like i'm having a break and i'll see them soon. Not like i'm so far away oso. When i'm in sci park 2, i can easier come back, the problem is whether i have the time to be able to come back or not lar...
This one week + break is a long awaited break for me. For 3 years that i started working, i never had a break like this, where i actually stayed in SG that is... which is not a really bad thing actually. I mean annual leaves in the past were so precious that whenever i do take a break, i would make use of it to go overseas. Staying in Sg like this is the 1st in a LONG freaking long time.
But i can tell u.......................i was so afraid that this week break would go to waste that i've been so uptight about it...i don think i'm actually really enjoying it. Sure i do sleep at 3am sometimes. And i loved it, bcos of the rare opportunity. I get to wake up late at 11+am. That's really shiok. The shiokiest thing was one morning i opened my eyes and i tot i had to get to work. And i was lazing around my bed falling asleep again, thinking to myself that i'll juz sleep awhile more before i get up to prepare to go work. Then i realised hey i don't hav to work!!!!!!!!!!
Other than that, i tell you, when all ur friends are working and u having a break is simply quite sian. Noone to go out with lor. Even if i wanna go out with them i have dancing on monday, Tues, and thurs nite. I canceled tonite's dancing to stay home to really pack up my room. Albert aint free on tues, thurs and fri nites. so there u go.. and i have driving at 1pm on tues, thurs and sat. So it's like i onli have wed as a full day to go out n enjoy myself.
Anyway, that would be another entry. Im grateful for the break. =)
