Saturday, May 26, 2007 . 11:09 PM
I've been sick since Wed. My mom was especially nice to me these days. I think she also felt more cheerful, mayb it's the medication. I took mc on wed, after the sore throat landed me with fever and whole body was aching and sore. So wed, my mom and i went to the clinic together. She wasn't recovering so decided to go see doc again. Labels: spiritual
Anyway she knew that she passed me the illness, so she was pretty nice to me. Slept thru WEdnesday.
I've not been going to dancing this week. Tues and Thurs were canceled cos i was too ill. Thurs instead, i went out with my colleagues(almost all of the colleagues turned up) to essential brew in nearby HV. I had fun with them, it's been a long long time since we just hang out like that.
Friday went to the arts museum with Huida, Mei, Bernice. And met Xiaohui and Van there. We were there for the charcoal collection from Louvre. After that, went to the new pub at national museum for a drink. I didn't drink, Deying who joined us later on and Mei and Huida drank. I had my miserable cranberry juice. SOb. Nevertheless,the next day, which is today, im still got more sick. Now ihave flu and cough. WEll i spent the whole day sleeping again.
I'm supposed to lead tomoro's bible study. But Albert had kindly proposed that he lead instead. I havent started preparing as well, cos as u know the whole week, either i was lying in bed, knocked out, or had some activites after work...so didn't get to prepare. I just prepared, just in case tomoro i can make it for cell and will try to lead.
I juz come to realise suddenly that i've become really self-centered. I mean i can't blame myself, cos after all that's happening at home n me being sick and all, all i could think about is myself. I didn't have the energy to think about other pple's problems. Just too draining. Kinda selfish on my part i gez.
NOw that i realised, i will be more sensitive to pple ard me, their needs, their pains etc. Im not a saint lar... But i could be more concerned about others.9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
Galatians 6:9-10
That includes showering more love towards my mom, family and friends. Sorry friends, i've MIA-ed for awhile. I do care.
Sunday, May 20, 2007 . 11:06 PM
3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented [a] robe for him. 4 When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him. 5 Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. 6 He said to them, "Listen to this dream I had: 7 We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it." 8 His brothers said to him, "Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?" And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said. 9 Then he had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. "Listen," he said, "I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me." 10 When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, "What is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?" 11 His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind. Genesis 37:2-11 2This is the account of Jacob.
Joseph, a young man of seventeen, was tending the flocks with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives, and he brought their father a bad report about them.
NO matter how frustrating, how upsetting our circumstances may be today, we can take comfort in the fact that God does know about it.
God had right from the beginning intended Joseph to be someone great. But it doesn't mean that he would b assuming that role a few months down the road. He needed to be taught to b more sensitive, to be more matured, to b humbled etc. Similarly, God intended a purpose for all of us. WE may not know the purpose now, but we are in the process of making.
WE need to be moulded, corrected to assume the purpose that He would have for us in this life. Many times God would bring us through this 'tough times' because we really do need to correct something in our lives or characters, sometimes we 'invited' such correction ourselves.
I feel that as humans, we are juz blinded by our circumstances. Many times we sink into self pity, depression, frustrations etc. i always like to quote what Paul has said about suffering,
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a]have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.Romans 5:1-5
We are only sinking into such negative thoughts because we couldn't see the hope beyond the problems, the worries, the bad circumstances. IF we allow God to guide us through, for him to mould us, for him to teach us what He want us to learn from our bad times, when we look back at the problems, worries and tough times, the tough times actually look not so tough, because we have grown.
From looking at my mom's condition and other pple who has depression, i can conclude that i could be like one of them if i do not have God. Not to say that Christians don't suffer from depression. But i feel that we have hope in God. From looking at my personalities, i think im not the kind of person who can take things lightly but God has taught me that i shdn't hold on to things too tightly, bcos then i'll trap myself in my own misery. God gives us a meaning in life, the meaning that pple seek for when they say life is meaningless.
I seldom blame God that my family is like that. I'm seldom angry with Him. WHat i was angry before was my situation and my mom continuing to be like this. I've never blamed God that i have to suffer like this. This is just life. When we became Christians, God didn't say He will make our life easy and smooth sailing. What would we learn if our lives are so wonderful and perfect.But he did say he will never do anything that is bad to us and he will never leave nor forsake us.I did question why in the past....but i think it's a healthy thing to do. Bcos im seeking for answers. As the years go by, im beginning to understand why. It's not my fault that i'm being thrown to handle such a family.
Even though this time, it seems like my mom's condition really reached critical status, and of cos i don't feel gd about it. Im worried for her. And i'm feeling down, but im careful that this negative feelings will not stay. I'll make sure that the negative feelings n thoughts will not stay. I know God has a purpose. My mom may b on the road to better recovery now and i gez i got to thank GOd that the series of events led to this. I don't wan to handle everything on my own and feel so drained out. I feel that i don't wish to talk about all these much anymore. I don't wan to complain so much about my mom's condition and how i feel anymore. Juz feel so sick of hearing myself talk about all these all the time. I've also come to realise that what i've gone thru, and still going thru has made me a wiser person, and i can share all these experiences with pple facing similar problems and struggles. That is one of the purposes that that i know God has intended for me. Maybe in time to come, my mom will come to realise that only GOd can fill the emptiness in her heart and learn that happiness does not come from the circumstances she's in, it comes from God as well.
Some pple may be going thru an even harder time than us now. There's no way of comparing the magnitude of sufferings of different pple. One thing that may looked like it's nothing to me, may be the biggest heartbreak for someone else. Everyone has a different paths and God is teaching everyone a different lesson. But as christians, we should uphold our brothers and sisters in christ and non-christians, comfort them, help them, give them the love that God wants to give through you.
I gez instead of praying that God change your circumstances, mayb we could start praying that we are willing to change and ask God to change us. This is just life. Life will throw shit at you, pple will throw shit at you. It's really how you respond to the shit that will matter,how you wish to perceive the shit that matters.
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9
Last of all, i feel really blessed that i have a loving group of friends whom i know will do anything to help me.I used to feel so alone. But now i have all of you. Hsiaolin, Deying, Bernice, Mei, Lloyd,Keith, Huida, Albert etc. (Don't kill me if i left our ur names, cos right now i can onli think of some pple....)I really feel so fortunate n blessed that you guys care so much, the fact that i know i don't have to be alone feels so much better. And im writing this in bigger fonts cos i know that some of u will skip this whole entry altogether cos i talked about God. SO hopefully you came this far to see me say how much i appreciate you guys.
Labels: depression, life, spiritual
|Saturday, May 19, 2007 . 5:04 PM
Well, things have simply changed in a matter of days. Labels: depression, life
I thought my mom had improved, but apparently she still can't take certain things. On Wed, she found out that my bro has bought a bike in secret. She was so upset, so devastated, she fell ill. (flu and sore throat n fever lar...)
After talkign to my brother, i was pretty upset too. I mean, i feel drained out as well bcos of this family. ANd the last thing i wan is another problem to solve. The best thing is to lie low and not rock the boat and everyone has peace, get what i mean? My mom can't take any big blows, neither can i. I was trying to advise him to see the bigger pic and i got upset that he couldn't. Im not saying he wasn't matured enuff...i felt that he has grown alot. But being young, certain things still need to be taught to him and learnt. Despite knowing all these, i had no idea what i was going to tell my mom. My mom couldn't take the blow, she didn't know how to handle it so she juz walked out of the house and went to her friend's place. The following two days, we had no conversations about the bike and my bro. IN fact, i avoided her as much as possible. I made sure i'm not home early, cos i just don't know how im going to tell her to just let go and let my brother learn his lessons himself.
Then friday nite, the inevitable happened. Was supposed to go Union square to salsa the nite away (again my avoiding strategy) with Hsiaolin and Bernice. I was right there at the building when my uncle called my cousin and asked me to go home right away, saying my mom has breathing difficulties, prob gonig to send her to the doctor.
I went home. And my mom refused to go n see the doctor. She just spent the whole night (11-4am) crying away. MY aunt and uncle were there till almost 2am, and most of the time, she refused to talk (she lost her voice as well) and she kept giving us gibberish things like' ignore her' 'she doesnt' need us' 'she doesn't need our help' tis and that..........she behaved as if she was half drunk with her gibberish. Is that my mother? I barely know her anymore.
My aunt was like saying we shd bring her to the psychiatrist tomoro bcos she seems to b in a very very bad condition. Then my mom went, ' i don't need to see a doctor, just let me move out, i don't wan to see your dad.' AH thanks mom. WEll that's depression for you. Going rounds n rounds. I ended up shouting and scolding and coaxing her as if we have switched places- her being my daughter.
I gez if i look at it in another way, this is a gd thing. I feel very fortunate that my aunt and uncle are with me this time. And they insisted on going to the doctor, which is better than juz me saying she needs to be treated. My mom will never listen to me. In the end, my mom only agreed to go see the doctor albeit very unwillingly because i said that if she goes to see the doctor, we will agree to her moving out. That's how she finally gave in. Great isn't it. I have such normal functional family. I think it's a gd thing she's finally seeking treatment. But i was worrying that she will come out with all kinds of stunts to avoid going to the doc the next day (which is today).
Another thing that came out really good of this drama was my relationship with my brother. WE suddenly become gd terms with each other. WE discussed about things etc. Before we went to sleep, we removed all the keys on the window grill, so that my mom won't go commit suicide. I'm saying this as if it's juz a common thing rite. WEl she was threatening to kill herself again last nite. SO yeah. Lock all the window..... removed all the keys. I even kept her keys to the door lock. SO that she won't get out of the hse before anyone of us can stop her the next day.
Wah lau. I really don't know wat to say lor. I really don't know wat to feel about all these either. I feel like my mom, tryign to set curfews for me in the past. It doesn't feel gd. It really doesnt. I feel like shit that my mom is behaving weirdly now.
MY aunt came at 9.30am. I was praying hard that my mom won't give mi stunts. Luckily she didn't, and we managed to get to paragon medical centre PEACEFULLY. Before she left, she still had to confirm with me that i'll agree to let her move out if not she won't go see the doc. -_-
The whole day she was pulling such a long black face. I've never seen her like this before. IN her own world, frowning and not answering to pple's questions. It's like a rebellious kid. Waited like 3 hrs for the doctor. Didn't know that there are so many sick pple............... anyway he's supposed to b quite gd and famous in this field.
When the doctor talked to her, she refused to answer and just looked away at somewhere else. Drama eh? SO my aunt and i were doing most of the talking for her. Doctor prescribed med for her, 2 weeks later go back and can do counseling. Wont get addicted to the med either, can stop the medication when she feels better. It's so amazing what medication can do to your emotions isn't it, juz cos it alters something in the brain.
After the doctor, she refused to go home, cos once again she doesnt' wan to see my dad. SO we went shopping ard, while she still continued to pull her long face.
Oh and my bro has agreed to sell back his bike. DId i mention that?
I think he's grown alot. And i salute him for willing to sacrifice the bike for my mom. Now i don't know about my rabbit.................my poor angel.
So that's about it. Sighz.
Pray that my mom will improve more. Pray hard.
And ..the doctor visit cost $135. My aunt has kindly sponsored us, im grateful. but i know that her family oso not doing v well now....so i'll return her the money.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007 . 11:17 AM
For Mother's Day, my mom specially requested a bag, one that is similar to NIKE bag that Albert got me. As you guys know, i've been depressed, down and out last week. So i couldn't b bothered to really do anything for my mom, since she doesn't appreciate much watever i do anyway.
I admit im very bitter about all these. When i attended an evangelism course at church on the previous Sat (9am start ok...wah lau faints), the moment they talked about parents etc, i felt this super bitter feeling inside me. My long-time net fren commented that i seemed very bitter, another guy fren commented that i'm so grumpy. I don't wan to agree with them, but i realised yes, im really bitter over my mom.
It was at this crucial period while me being the unfilial,bitter daughter who not wanting to do anything for my mom, Albert came into the picture and well, took over the burden, even tho noone asked him to. I didn't ask him to. He saw a bag that he thinks my mom will like, and got it. It happened to b from Adidas (another sports brand ...Nike no enuff..). So this MOther's day present, just b/w all of u and me, was gotten by Albert. I was generally like dragged around to look as if i got the bag. He even went to get a wrapping paper or was it a box to package the bag. Ah i mean he's good at all the packaging, beautifying presents thing lar. But he somehow spoilt the wrapping paper or something so in the end, the bag came with only the adidas paper bag, which i think is gd enuff. He has put in alot of effort.And gez wat was the gf doing? Smsing him telling him to forget about the wrapping paper lar, do so much for what. She won't appreciate. Well i've been telling him that my mom probably won't appreciate the efforts anyway.
On saturday after the course, i suddenly remembered that my dad's bday (last tues). So i decided to go get a small cake, and all the cakes had Happy Mother's Day theme on them instead. So i decided ah...might as well celebrate both occasions together. You see..if not for me remembering my dad's belated bday, i wouldn't b buying a cake for my mom either.
Anyway that nite, we passed her the bag and whole family came together and had a mini celebration n had the cake. My mom seemed pleased with the bag and cake. In fact, she and my dad even cut the cake together, ok well seperately...but the fact that my mom willing to even share the cake with my dad was not bad. Now u see how bad things can b for me? Pacifying everyone. No wonder sometimes i feel like juz snapping at them to stop being childish. We took a couple of photos, family photos even, unfortunately something screwed up with my camera and i lost the photos. Quite upset about it. Cos we rarely have family photos together. Right. My heart aches thinking about the unfortunate photos.
Anyway, i'm really thankful for the kind of effort that Albert put in to help bring my family together, especially when im so reluctant. I once asked that God would bring someone to help me sometimes carry my burdens alittle when im drained, God has given mi that person. BUT I was just so blinded by my own bitterness over everything that i didn't see, until everything was over. I juz needed a tinge of hope. A hope that i can at least see. I know that trusting in God is a hope, but i juz needed some encouragement, some physical form of hope. I see my mom being happier and appreciated. I feel happier too. Bcos i see that she does appreciate wat i do ( tho strictly speaking, it was albert...not me.)
TO make her happier, i bought her a new hp. ok, i got bought it at half price from my dance instructor. He got it to help him tide thru his difficult period while he dumps his hp at the phone shop to b fixed. So now he doesn't need the phone anymore, except for rainy days he agreed to sell it to me. Was a really gd price for a phone like this. I like the phone.The main thing is the words are HUGE, so that my mom can't complain about not able to see the words,clock, numbers etc.
SGH-z240
She's so happy now with the hp. She even gave me a new Adidas shirt she got from her previous workplace and asked me to pass it to Albert. Finally some appreciation there. I mean i care more about her appreciation than Albert, and im not even the one putting in the effort.
Friday, May 11, 2007 . 10:24 AM
You know, i've sat there in my chair staring at this lady's portrait for at least 2 hrs last night. And i'm staring at her again now. She's so beautiful. Her eyes so deep and full of feeling, all her soul portrayed in the eyes. The perfect arch of her eyebrows and i can imagine the glassy green eyes staring back, if this photo is actually in colour, and her deep red lipstick. Wow..wat features.
I wanna b like her- stunning.
Still coping with my numbing depression. Feels like the world has kinda stopped for a while for me. I have been thinking about what i want in life, my dreams and aspirations. Sad to say, there aren't many, cos my only real aspiration is to b a tai tai. I know im hopeless. I don't really care. To me, life is not about fighting and competing to reach the top so that i can feel all powerful and accomplished. Life is not easy. And the onli thing i've been fighting all these years is how to feed my family and how to improve the relationship b/w my family.
Once in a while, i'll feel down about my family. This is the time that i feel down again. I don't wish to elaborate more. Cos frankly speaking, i also don't really know what im so down anymore. I mean it's the same thing over and over again right? Y get affected? Gez i juz wanna take a break, like not care about my family for now, and care more about myself ..for now. But such a bad time, mother's day is coming and u knw what? i do not really care. I don't even feel like celebrating it. Usually i'll at least try to do something, buy something, bring her to somewhere, to show my love for her. This week...all i felt in my heart was juz cold hard numbness.
I'm not an ambitious person. My friends can testify to that. I'm so lazy. I'm contented being lazy. Mayb if im not lazy, with my intelligence i would have accomplished alot. My mentality is always, what's the point? As long as ur happy, and of cos in the context of doing the right things in God's eyes, then wat for care so much about all those material stuffs ie fame, fortune, accomplishments etc. Do u realise that Singapore is a great place to stay in? As in this country is so safe, everything so organised, you can build a home with peace here. But in exchange for this stability, many of us are not healthy, not healthy physically, psychologically or emotionally. Do you realise that many pple are not happy, despite being wealthy? Some pple have the money, they worked so hard to earn their keeps, but they do not have the time to enjoy their money. They don't even have time to take leaves. Are they happy? What are they working for? Retirement? Marriage? Even the average joes like us aren't happy. Why? Cos the gahmen says we r not poor, we do not need a pay increase while the GST and the pays of some talent's pays are increased. I'm just a lab officer. Do u think i feel gd abt it? Every human being wants to be something, we want to accomplish something. Do u think i accomplished anything?
Sometimes i daydream about being someone bigger. Imagining myself being a clinical research associate aldy etc. And then imagining how little time i would have for myself cos it's a stressful job and i may even have to work till 8 or 9pm, like many pple do(pple who has the money and leaves but can't get to enjoy them). I look at how other pple in other countries live their lives, and i think y can't Chinese or Singaporeans do the same? Y are we chasing around all these instead of juz simply enjoy life? U would b so much happier. I don't mean enjoy life in all the pleasures, but value life. Enjoy the time off work, keep work strictly to office hrs, enjoy time with family, life is so much like a leisure isn't it?
I've been thinking, that i do not need to follow the majority and go into headless chase. As long as i can earn the money, i don't think i need to b in an office to earn it. I'm exploring other opportunities, doing what i like to do. Come to think of it, i don't really like doing anything except nuaing at home. I've long destroyed my own wishful thinkings about able to do what i liked, that's cos of the situation my family was in. If i kept thinking about wanting to do what i want or liked, i would have been miserable, so the alternative was to tell myself to give up. Now i can't even find back what my aspirations were.
I'm just Jia Yann. I'm not someone bigger.
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Wednesday, May 09, 2007 . 5:38 PM
Is your emotions juz all in the mind? I've been feeling down recently. I could identify some issues. But im confused. I don't know wat exactly im supposed to feel. I juz feel generally down. Labels: life
Argued with my mom again on Monday. Same old problems and issues. I don't know if im down cos of that? Mayb it's juz my hormones. Tis month, it's depression. Last month was too irritable etc.
So since i feel down, i want to b pretty much alone. I don't know wat i wan or feel. Im grounded. My mom complained about me going out to play too much and i didn't help out at home, so i've even ended up canceling my dance on Tuesday to just stay home. Likewise, i'll b home tonite as well. My mom suddenly called and asked if i wanna go out with her n bro to eat at central. It's something unexpected. It's something unusual for our family. We don't go out for meals. seldom. Period. But instead of gleefully thinking that our situation has improved, i told her i won't b going. U guys can enjoy urself. What does she want me to do? Face her with a happy smile on my face? I can't. I don't feel like handling her. She would end up complaining about her life again. I can't take it.
Having said all that, gez i'll continue to MIA for a while. See when my mood becomes better. These are some of the photos we took at bintan.......for ur viewing pleasures.
on the bus ...in Tanjung Pinang
Deying's funny expression
That's not a moon, just a lamp along the bridge
Swimming pool
The so called outdoor spa. But i didn't do the spa here, i did it in a very nice room.
The full moon, at hmm 4s exposure
The stars(those little dots) at 10s exposure. Sorry my hands are shaky.
Me with fresh coconut. hmm my skin v fair ah....
Thursday, May 03, 2007 . 11:21 PM
You would be very happy in a career that utilised your level-headedness, and allowed you to work mainly on your own. You want a career that allows you to be creative, without having to be involved with lots of people. Some careers that would be perfect for you are: You are very practical, and only act after thinking things through. You don't like being forced to answer quickly. You have to evaluate the situation completely. You make decisions based on what you can verify with your senses. You like to be deeply involved in one or two special projects. You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others and protect their feelings. You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language.
You like working and being alone. You like to avoid attention at all costs. You tend to keep to yourself, and not interact much with the people around you. You enjoy spending time with a few a close friends. You like to listen to others, but don't like sharing much about yourself. You are very quiet and private.
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Out of that list of professions, i've ever considered being a vet/banker/historian/nutritionist. Seems like creative positions suit me. I don't think im that creative.
Sometimes i feel like i have dual personalities. I like working alone, but i also like working with pple. I can get alittle weird like keeping to myself or a small group of colleagues sometimes when i don't feel like i wanna mix with everyone, and then in the end i end up just mixing with a small group of pple, enuff to survive thru work anyway. Yet, im the sort of person who gets bored easily, i need new things to feed my brain. I feel like all those characteristics that the website described about me were what used to be me. Many things still remained true of cos, like how i rather be at the back of the scene, not draw attention to myself, i listen more than i talk, i listen more than i share about myself, im quiet and private. Whether u all disagree or not, im really a quiet person by nature. ANd i'm also shy by nature. yeah i know u don't believe that. I do analyse things by doing thru them in my head again n again before i make a decision, i don't jump into things on impulse. But lately, i've been doing more things on impulse. There's this sense of excitement that comes with being impulsive. But i still prefer to be very level-headed. That's y my cousin can say sometimes i can b so cold, separating my thoughts with emotions, just like men in general do ( and yes men are cold blooded, don't u know? they are evolved from reptiles.)
I used to be very considerate to how other pple feel and think but also lately like this year, i've become more n more out front with my feelings to pple, esp my displeasure and anger. I used to take what ple threw at me, bcos i didn't know how to react at that instant. I'm becoming more n more quick in my reaction and thinkings, so i can fight back. I still try to not rock the boat too much. I'm a person who generally believes in world peace. No fightings. I muz learn to love again. To love like God loves, instead of just wanting to protect myself by my sharp-tongueness..
I don't use alot of metaphors or flowery language when i talk, that sounds more like Deying and Lloyd Hee.
I'm a creative person and i get frustrated if i don't get to express myself. WEll i used to get frustrated if i don't get to use all that 40000 words quota that God allocated to women per day for use. Not anymore. I pretty much keep things to myself, i don't find much problem with that. I juz got too lazy to tell pple everything, so keep some to myself, but im still happy. I do want to let my nonsense out sometimes, like disturbing Mr Albert..disturbing frens...disturbing my rabbits...i juz got to do some weird things and disturb pple, if not i feel weird all over. ONce in a while i'll do something crazy and weird. I juz have that impulse to do something. I'm glad i have Albert, cos he's more nonsense than me and we get to irritate each other with our nonsense and embarrassing acts while being outside.
ANd yesi don't like same old routine. Tho i crave for stability in my life, i don't wan things to b the same old thing week in and week out. It's got to change!!! That means, i could zao school(or rather zao-ed school), zao work, zao dance...play truancy, just to feel that something was different this week.
I'm a person who acts on my emotions. To men, it could be down right overly sensitive or emotional, but seriously if u ask me i don't care. I'm a woman. I don't play the game according to men's rules. The world shd have been spinning around women not men. I'm emotional and i fully embrace my emotional side. So just don't get in my way when im feeling emotionally down or irritated. I'm a woman i have the right to b emotional. Men are being emotional when they say we can't b emotional and since men arent supposed to b emotional, then they shd not continue being their reptiles and we shall be emotional and there will b world peace.
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Wednesday, May 02, 2007 . 10:08 PM
My Uni friend, Daniel Ng got married on Labour Day. He invited me quite last min for his church wedding at Salvation Army @ Bishan. I went with Albert. I've never met his wife before. Was really nice of him to remember me still. WE have seen each other for a year. He's grown alittle horizontally haha. Happy for him that he's settled down. Labels: weddings
Going for his wedding and Waitat's recently brought back some nice sweet memories of uni life. Daniel and i were of the same batch in Campus Crusade. Waitat was our head of our commitee. How time flies. Now they have their own family! And im still hmmm happily unmarried :p
It seems like weddings are the best places to catch up with old frens or unexpected friends etc. It seems like not many crusade pple were invited, i mean i didn't even meet any of them. But i met a guy whom i got to know last year while working in nus.I know he's from my batch, but he's doing masters now. SO i was surprised that he was there at teh wedding, we both asked each other who do we know? We both are Daniel's friends. He's his jc classmate. Then i met my sec sch maths teacher!!! Of all places!! Anyway she's the one who is workign in NUS now as well. She was so surprised to see me! Then she introduced me to her family haha...cool.
Albert and i then took bus 74 from that area heading back to my place, but bus 74 onli passes by the ave 2, and then turn into ave 4 n 5.
Waiting for bus 74 
So we rode our beautiful cute bicycles back to my home, which is like a street away lar..about 5 mins ride, in my nice taitai dress and high heels. I looked like something that came out of a movie scene. I shd b riding this with a huge hat along the paths of a country road instead of Clementi Ave 2. I tot it was a rather funny sight, the pple in their cars were checking me out. Albert's bike is light metalic blue, same model. I love it. I love the basket.
ANd that's Angel's place in the basket. I intend to bring him out once in a while. I was juz trying if he fits into the basket...u know how fat he is.
At nite, after dinner, we went cycling. WE went to central then cycled all the way to King ALbert's Park's Mcdonalds. We were mad. The journey there took much longer than the journey back, cos there were more uphills than downhills. I had to get down n push my bicycle at some point of time cos i juz couldn't take it. It was a really exhilarating experience, very fun..but very tiring. haha... My mom apparently thinks that we are too bored.
ANd i think my parents are so impolite rude folks. My dad didnt' thank Albert for his help. Not that Albert minds or mention anything abt that, but i kinda realised that they didnt' say anything about being thankful. My dad is just like that. My mom, upon knowing about the fixing of the lamp when we met her after our cycling at nite, asked about some technical issues abt the lamp but very nice of her to conveniently forget that she has to thank pple? i'm alittle disgusted with them, and they are my parents.
