Friday, March 28, 2008 . 2:30 PM
22 Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 55:22
You wouldn't imagine Deying sharing this verse with me last night. And i was truly impressed friend. Not because i doubt you, i only had lots of questions regarding why you choose to remember that verse. And then i found out the reason,but i don't think i need to repeat here.I thought it was written on some walls of your school, like how in my bro's school, one verse i'll always remember was,' ..The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge..', but oh well........
The verse strangely spoke to me yesterday. I personally found quite touched upon hearing the verse. I made her repeat the verse to me. Before i went to bed, i thought about the verse again while i was about to give thanks to God for all He had provided and done for me.
And i think it's so true. God is faithful and unfailing. You can cast all your cares upon Him. He will not let you fall.
I'm just another shortsighted human. 1 plus year back or longer, i was still sitting in my little cosy lab, enjoying my little cosy sheltered life, not knowing where i should go and what i should do. And then when i finally had a successful interview with my current workplace, even after verbal agreement that i was offered a position, the position turned out to be a disappointment for at least 7 months. I had to basically start all over, struggling with the question of why God it happens, there's got to be a bigger reason, a better purpose, a better offer bcos you always give the best to your children isn't it. Eventually, 8 months down the road, i was offered a position in the same company again, not without some effort on my part.
When i first started working , it was a huge change for me. A huge step. Almost everything was new to me, afterall i was stuck in a lab for 3 years. It was a struggle and my own paranoia almost killing me.
I remembered night after night i prayed to God, that He may bless me that i may find favour in my Sup and colleagues' eyes.
Indeed i've been really blessed. I'm not boasting. I'm just frankly sharing my experience. I learnt alot these few months and it will be continuous learning journey for mi for the next two years probably. I think i really made a right choice to come to this company.
This didn't come easy for me. I treasure it. I had the right learning attitude when i work. God always places wonderful colleagues around me. And my collaegues had gone out of their ways, selfishlessly helping me, just so that they can help me to achieve my goals of becoming a CRA. They are unselfish, helpful and so willing to teach, even willing to help me review what i'm doing and suggest how i could learn more. My british colleague, i'm so ever thankful to her. Becos she gave me so much learning opportunities, and when i expressed how thankful i am to her, she told me that i deserved to be helped because she had been through what i've been through and it wasn't easy. The most encouraging thing was she said that i'm really capable, and understands what i'm doing unlike the others, hence she would rather ask me to support her in certain issues that for m position i shouldn't have a chance to touch on than ask the others( of the same level as me). She was the one who taught me that i could fight for what i want..what my sup suggests or think best for me may not be the best and i should discern and let my opinions and desires be known. She was the one who fought for my right to follow her to site to learn, while my sup didn't want me to go. She was also the one who highly recommended me infront of my sup.
I didn't see the big picture, but now i do. If i had came into the workplace 8 months earlier, my current Sup would not have been my sup. It would be this other bigger boss, who had just quit his position. At first, i'm not so sure if my sup would be the kind that i could rely on. The more i interact with him, the more i respect him. He's really a people person. Altho he's always preaching about his muslim faith, i respect him. He's one of the few muslims i know who is so faithful to his god and faith and values. He is one that we can call him upright person. I somehow can trust that if anything goes wrong, he's the one we can go to.
During my stressful probation review and goal settings, he had continuously praised me for what i've done, being motivated and able to deal with challenges and overcoming them. It's the very 1st time that i met a boss who is so generous with his praises to his subordinates. I think it's a very unasian thing to praise anyone.
Anywhere i go, everywhere i turn to, i see friends' bosses having low EQ, low professionalism, and the usual asian thing of being stingy with praises but so ever generous with criticisms.
So i conclude that it's an non-asian thing for my sup to be like that. After all he was raised up in Britain. I look up to him. I do. And how many pple can say that they look up to their bosses? Not many i gez.
I look up to him for his professionalism. He was the one who taught mi that i could actually fight for what i believe in, regardless of what he thinks is best for me. British lady taught me i should fight. My sup taught me and gave me the permission that i could do it. And i think he's really funny. Becos he gave mi the permission to take things in control. In fact he WANTS me to learn to take things in control, take leadership, take initiative, and be more aggressive. Everytime i accomplish something and he learnt of it, he would tell me encouraging things like, 'well done. That was good. Continue to follow up etc'
Yesterday, he called me into the room for a talk. I thought he was going to scold mi for being late all the time. But instead he told me i'm getting a pro rated performance bonus. That was v little money actually, but the truth is i wasn't supposed to get any since i worked for so little months. But he pushed for it to happen. And i'm thankful. I'm most thankful for the fact that he actually recommended me to be rewarded for my performance so far, a pay increment. The company approved it. I'm getting a 17% increment for my pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could almost hug him. I told him i love him!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A few months back till now i've been struggling with financial issues. But yes. God has provided. Unexpectedly. A figure that i used to dream of. ANd i cannot believe that i'm getting it!!!!!!!!
ANd for him to recommend me!! For him to push this for me!!! HOw many bosses care about the welfare of their subordinates these days ?!!!
I'm so thankful. SO joyful!!! If i had'nt enter the office 8 months later, i would not be able to enjoy this benefit i'm serious. The previous boss did not give any of the staffs who entered then this kind of benefits. And it's not becos i got confirmed that's y i had a raise, because it was stated to me clearly before i came in, that after probation there would not be a raise.
So everything fits in!!! And it feels like being top of the world to know that your hard work and efforts has been noticed and appreciated and rewarded in a very practical way. hahah...
I'm really so happy. But when i'm so happy and i thought about sharing with my friends, i know that even tho they may be sincerely happy for mi from the bottom of their hearts, i know that there may be a tinge of envy and comparison. I don't wan to make anyone unhappy or miserable.
Please just share my joy.
It's been a long journey. Whether i deserve the money or not is not the question. But God has richly provided me...that's the focus. Not just me, but Albert. A few months ago, he had nothing. Now he earns as much as i will. Jehova Jireh.
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