Wednesday, August 01, 2007 . 9:49 AM
I finally typed out my 1st resignation letter of my life. Went to see my boss to inform him that i wish to resign and let him sign on my letter so that i can submit to my director of the department, and eventually HR will be informed.
I seldom look for my boss for anything. When i turned up at his office, he was pleasantly surprised and looked really happy to see me. Sad to say i'm there to break a bad news. He was quite shocked. His 1st response was,' so fast?'.
SO fast??? I've been here for almost 3 years. I don't think it's fast. But if i add up all the times that i really do talk to him etc, it really seemed like yesterday that i sat in the interview room talking to him.
We had a LONG talk. He wasn't convincing me to stay. He was juz expressing pity that i'm not staying to do masters. And i could have done it if i wanted to, if i'm determined to. Of cos, he wanted to know y i wanna leave as well. Reason i gave was my family situation does not allow me to fully commit to research. And deep down, i've kinda given up on research. It's juz not worth the time and effort, not to mention wholly commit my 2.5 years in this thing. There aren't hard feelings. But it was awkward for mi to break the news to him and see the disappointment on his face. But i think i'm replaceable lar....
Talking to him in his office brought back memories of the time that i was interviewed by him. The very day itself, i received notification that i'm being offered a position. In my eyes, he has always been the leader and fatherly figure. But sad to say, along the way, i was disappointed much more than i would ever admit to myself. Nonetheless i'm very grateful for the chance he gave me, giving me a job when the market was so bad then. And very grateful that he was willing to give me the opportunities to try out research. But somehow it was disappointing to me too...shadn't elaborate more. I struggled with whether i wanna continue doing research or not, eventually decided that masters and research doesn't suit me. Then from then on, i was juz a worker, a super unmotivated one. I was bring my body to work without my soul. It juz gets meaningless lar...there's really no point staying here since i've decided not to do masters.
Then began my one year plus long search for jobs.
Mei commented that everything is like laid for me nicely this time. It's true. I really have some indescribable 'fate' with the new company.Let's jus call the company P. The child that my mom used to babysit, his mom is the Regional finance manager in P. My friend, Andrea had been working there after her graduation with honours (one yr after my graduation). Huida's senior is working there as a senior position. When i 1st graduated, i did consider clinical research line as one of my choices. In fact, when the regional finance manager talked to me about job-finding, she did ask me to send her my resume bcos the company was looking for pple for the position that i'm going to go in into now. But when i wanted to send her, she told me that the company got involved in the EDB TAP programme and the positions has been filled by the people on the programme. So there i missed a chance. But it's ok bcos i wanted more to do lab then.
In Jan 2007, interview with them was successful but their headcounts were frozen. There i missed another chance. Now i finally reached where i'm supposed to go. Tho the moment they told me they wanna recruit me, actually many times during the recent interview, i felt nothing. No emotions. No joy. Just ok lor. Till the moment that i have to resign, then the whole thing kinda sets in.
P is really like my 'dream' job. Its near my house. I have direct bus to the company. It's in Sci Park 2 tho, abit ulu. But it's still near to NUS, to everything that i'm so familar with. So i'm not too far from my colleagues and friends there. Can always meet for meals. The pay is satisfactory. The leave is gd. Traveling opportunities in the future. Got prospect.
The problems would be i need to change my wardrobe....time to wear more formal. SIAN. AND need to work OT. NO choice lar..for my future......my family......
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My mom commented that i shd quit dancing when my work becomes busier next time. I donoe wat's wrong with old pple's thinking. Shd one commit themselves to work and career AND NO LIFE? wat happened to work-life balance? Why do i need to give up something that i love so much and obviously have talents in it? She has never seen me dance. Mayb i shd show her. She will understand. Mayb i'm more suitable to b a full time professional dancer than stay in the workforce lor.
Performance is on this sat. I've been dancing since Sunday ( and monday, and tuesday) My muscles are aching alittle. I don't like it. Discovered that my stamina is really good. And the muscles on my legs. WOAH. hahha...I was wearing a shorter than normal skirt yesterday and i saw my legs in the mirror while i danced, never seen my legs this muscular. Time to wear short skirts out!
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