Friday, June 22, 2007 . 2:37 PM
Labels: stories
During my Jc one year, i joined the Chinese Society Club. I bet some pple doesn't even know there's such a club. Nonetheless, only pple like me would join. I like being low profile you see. Ok the real fact was, i hate sports and i hate being a librarian. My friends were very good with Chinese, and so being lazy i juz tagged along as they joined the club.
Every time we join a new club or something, we were always required to fill in our particulars for the club member list etc. He came to tok to mi about the club and also other things, from the way he talked, i had thought that he's a senior.
Days passed, someone called me at home. In those days, only the rich and elites had handphones. The rest of us civilians normally just owned a pager. But i didnt' even have the privilege of one at that point. He called and chatted with me. I thought was a senior making his rounds of call, since sometimes it was required for a particular senior of a particular position to call the newbies up etc. The conversation progressed to other things. Mainly him trying to make conversations. It was the same guy who came to tok to me. And i found out he's not a senior and he's a newbie too.
How did he get my number? From the list of cos. It meant only one thing. He wasn't supposed to call me, not on the behalf of the club. He actually checked up my number and called me.
It bothered me alittle. But being the friendly, kind, innocent girl that i was and still am, except for the innocence part...i juz pretended that he didn't try to do that. I shall not judge him and i'll leave his case for the benefit of a doubt.
I always used to have problems with rejecting pple or telling pple off, bcos i was too kind and too nice. That's the price to pay for being too nice.Now i figured i can be a nice person but im not obliged to not reject pple.
Since i became an official member of the club, there were more chances of meeting. He was involved in other activities of the club. I was involved in another area with my grp of galpals. I can't exactly rem what i did anyway. I remember him calling me at home sometimes, and also come up to me and chat in school.
Not long after, like months later, my friends decided that they want to quit the club and go over to Chinese Orchestra club. Another club that pple most likely do not even know that it exists in the school. I happily went with them, bcos seriously speaking the Chinese Society was kinda boring and some weird guy always chatting up with me wasn't that nice..
I had originally thought that he would draw a distance after i got together with my 1st bf from the same school. But to prove me wrong he didn't, and that was really a disappointment on my side. I had to entertain his calls, listen to his talks. He even suggested that we become penpals, writing in Chinese so that our Chinese can improve more. I HATE writing in Chinese. But as usual, i didn't know how to reject and i tot it's much better than talking on the phone. SO i agreed. His always signs off as xiao ge, as in..'older brother but it's alittle intimate addressing..' I felt like i was being forced into all these, but being nice i didn't wan to feel as if he's all bad or something.
He always told me of his gf, someone from his class. His class was in another combi and my class seldom had contacts with pple from his class. I never checked if he was saying the truth of cos. If he says he has a gf, of cos i won't bother to doubt him.
When we came back to school to receive our A'levels results, i went to a corner to call my mom ( yes i finally have a handphone by then, that was like 2 yrs after i 1st met him). My mom wasn't that happy with my results. And then before i knew it, he appeared behind me and scared the shit out of me. Right after the results were revealed and certificates collected, he immediately came over to find out how well i scored.
Then he was enlisted into the Army, for BMT. Almost every week, he would give me a call during his OTOT time.. Sometimes even twice a week, as if im his girlfriend and he needed to talk to me. Everytime i asked about his gf, he would either say he had called her already, or there's no need to talk to her all the time. Then there's a need to tok to mi ALL the time? It was always just one-sided conversation, with him rattling on and on about his stuffs and training. I don't wan to say this, bcos my 1st bf will probably read about this entry, but i really hated listening to all the army trainings n stuffs. Yes, it's the only thing, or rather, their only LIFE, at that point of time, what else can they talk about. But i didn't wan to listen too much about those army things, not even from my bf. But yet i had to entertain him when he talks about his stuffs. Sometimes i rest my house phone on my bed while i just laid down for a while and he wouldn't even notice that i'm not there.
All lies were revealed when my uni fren who was also my JC classmate told me that the gf was never attached to him before. I gave him many chances to tell me the truth but he didn't. I couldn't figure why there's a need to lie to me. Eventually, i confronted him. He didn't admit it. HE continued to lie but eventually confessed. But he refused to tell me why.And then when i said i no longer want to b in contact with him, he finally told me the truth. My reasons of not maintaining a friendship was not because i really wanted so much to get rid of him, i just do not like someone who hasn't been honest enuff to be friends with me. What is he thinking? What is his motives? To me, that's not friendship anymore. He had used christianity against me. He had said that im unforgiving. He never understood that forgiveness never comes easy and i had forgiven him. Forgiveness doesn't mean that i should pick him up again and resume him to his previous position in my life. It doesn't mean that. I just didn't want someone with weird intentions around me.
He had threatened to even kill himself. Sending weird suicidal sms to me in the middle of the night. I've also learnt that 95% of the cases of pple who threatens to kill themselves, do not have the guts to do so. I was terrified anyway. Prayed for him. What else could i do? I replied his smses, asking him not to do anything stupid, he didn't reply. A year later, he had smsed mi saying he is getting married, and asked me to attend his wedding without presents. But he never ever told me the date nor venue. There was another time he smsed and said he saw someone who looks alot like me in church. He never ever goes to church. What was that?
Many many years later, he added me to his friendster. He's unmarried and openly pleading for his gf to not leave him... on his friendster.
-_-
