Monday, June 25, 2007 . 5:16 PM
Another short story ...of another phase of life...
When i was in Secondary School, i became more n more withdrawn. I never remembered myself as someone with much confidence, my self-esteem plunged even more when i started attending the Secondary School. Confused with self identity, self image etc, i was only friendly towards girls.
I started having MASSIVE pimple outbreaks during my puberty years and seriously it was such a blow to my small existing self-esteem. I was never raised by my mom to think that i'm gd looking or anything. But it simply didn't feel good walking around with all those pimples waiting to burst ..
We had to change to a new class, which was dependable on your Sec 2 results. So i was allocated to the best class in the school with my good friends Xiaohui and Meimei. I used to sit with Meimei in class at the left corner of the class. I was sitting the most left beside her. I had gd memories of our school days back then. I finally got rid of previous testosterone raging male classmates in the previous class. I should really thank them. If not because they were so disgusting, i wouldn't have sworn to excel and make it to a class that they wouldn't b able to follow (bcos they were too obsessed with raging hormones stuffs like porn and getting familar with the vagina that they didn't study hard..or they were just stupid. They probably only scored on the sex chapter in our Science subject.)
There was this indonesian. Indonesian again..who spent the rest of the 2 years in class spying on me. He was sitting on the most far right, and somewhere at the 4 O'clock direction from where i was sitting.So he had a clear view of me. I started noticing his weird habits when i caught him looking at me. I used to think he was just looking at my direction, it couldn't be me. let me clarify. He was not gd looking, passable, gentle in his speech and demeanor and bloody rich obviously. In those days, when we were released for lunch, i remembered that a prefect would actually guard the whole row of corridor of classrooms so that students were not allowed to enter the classrooms once they leave. I think they did that to prevent stealing cases. ANyway, he would lurk around the area,waiting for me to appear.He's always just LOOKING at me. Sometimes striked some conversation or two...but he freaked me out.
I had to end up using Mei as my shield in class. I would hide beside her so that i know he wouldn't be able to see me. Every 5 min or so, he would be looking at me in class. I couldn't behave normally, naturally. It was pure torture.
On ICQ, sometimes he would talk to me. I remember this conversation clearly. He told me he had dreamt of me. He dreamt that i was in his room (omg...)and somehow i reached over n hugged him from the back. I almost just pluck my internet connection out.
There was a sports meet once a year. And once he took a photo of me, secretly. And of cos i didn't know of it. He sent the photo to me by snail mail like months later. And he wrote that he loves my smile or something. That was one of the ugliest photo of me EVER. I know my smiles can be mesmerizing and pleasant, but that photo, that angle of my facial expression was horrible. He took it from below, because i was standing at the top of the steps at the Clementi Stadium where we always have our sports day. And i was laughing away, with my mouth wide gaping monstrously opened. And he thought that was beautiful. Yew.
I just tot the whole thing was creepy. He may have meant nothing, but was kinda weird. Imagine me receiving such a photo, taken in secret without my knowing somemore.
When we finally finished our O'levels, the school had a 'prom night' for us. Unlike some of the lucky students who had a chance to hold their prom nights at lavish hotels, we had ours ...in our school hall. Omg, i just can't bring myself to actually remember the 'prom night'. I turned up in my ugly old fashioned top and skirt but that will be another story IF i remember to write about it, but i'm sure noone wanna hear about this sad 'prom night' tale.
As a rich Indonesian, he was to return home after O'levels. Or..was it going overseas to study. Mayb it was overseas, i couldn't rem.
That night of 'partying', as best as we could in that kind of environment and ambiance, we all returned home late. He had spent the night with the guys in the class in the bungalow( yes bungalow) of this classmates. The next day early in the morning, before he left for his flight, he typed a super long email to his friends.
I received his email.It was addressed to many many pple, many of whom were not from my class. He wrote each person's name and his thoughts for the person etc..when it came to my name, he wrote that he loved my smile TOO much. And wished that he could stay longer to watever watwever ..i don't wan to rem.
Then he left. Went to the US to study for the next many many years. Masters n beyond. And got married at the age of..i don't know..22?
I had quite a history of weird pple coming after me eh...haha..
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