Tuesday, June 05, 2007 . 10:21 PM
I seldom say this, that life is good.
Deep down inside, i think it's a taboo sentence. Saying or even thinking may just make my life turned out to b miserable.
It's silly to fear for the worse when times are good. SOmetimes it's hard to settle into the gd times, bcos half the time i know that the bad times would come soon, it's juz a matter of time.
BUt today, i truly say..life is good. I'm contented. And i know im truly blessed. And im not saying this because my life is really great or what, but i've learnt to count my blessings, learnt to be contented and focus on what is good.
Many times, we tend to focus on what is bad. And end up being miserable. My sore throat has came back to haunt me, evolved into a worse state. In actual fact, i felt like shit today. I couldn't sleep last nite. ANd that kinda made the no of nights that i couldn't sleep went up to 3. I should b VERY tired. In fact i WAS very tired.Yet i could not sleep. My throat was irritating me so much. So i had to take half a day off. ANd i was just thinking how gd it will be ...if i do not need to work. While on my way back to my lab, i enjoyed the afternoon (very hot) sun, took in the sceneries infront of me. I would pass by the huge grass plain behind my house on my way to work. It's been such a freaking long time since i saw the whole place during noon time. It makes me feel different. I really wish i can stay and wander around, doing my things carefreely but ...have to work. And i spent the whole noon, sectioning donoe how many livers and kidneys.
EVen tho i didn't feel good, i felt like rejoicing. I felt like i needed to praise GOd on how much He's blessed me.
I can really see my mom improving. Throughout the short hours i stayed home(after i woke up), i enjoyed my time with my mom. we spoke a little. ANd it was just so peaceful. I actually really wish for my mom to b around when im sick. She's just the source of some consolation. I like to b taken care of. Unfortunately, recently she's not been around everytime i fell ill. This morning when i woke up wanting to tell her im not going to work, she wasn't around again. When i woke up again she was back home, cooking lunch. I like it when she fusses over me, but not giving mi all the negativity. She to ld me that the medicine makes her lazy to think about things, so that she's not been thinking about all the negative things and things of the past these days. I don't know if she notices her changed behavior. I sure have. She's more cheerful. She doesn't complain about the past, she doesn't reply with negativity anymore, she jokes, she smiles. I'm not used to my mom smiling when talking ...seriously...and to me somemore. I asked if she wanna head out to eat tonite and she said yes.
So i went out with my mom after work, for a short dinner at central. Then we walked home. And i shared with her a little of my life. Its really great to be able to talk like that. It's a strange feeling, that i haven't felt for....years. Many years. Something i gez i've prayed for many times but didn't know it will exist in such a way, didn't know it will feel like this.
Juz feel that even tho there are of cos worries and problems, my life is great. I don't ask for more....except...mayb to recover from my illness? haha.. but it's ok, i'll be healed, just a matter of time
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