Sunday, March 18, 2007 . 10:44 PM
I keep feeling as if i do not have enough time. 7 days a week is not enough! 24 hrs a day is also not enough!!!
I feel like im becoming a superwoman. I've managed to juggle working,dancing twice a week, housework,going out with friends, dating, time with parents n rabbit and driving lessons. In the past, i used to break down. Yes i did. I couldn't handle the stress. Actually, it was more of i couldn't handle the kind of expectations that pple have of me.
The expectations of a gd daughter from my mom, to at least do housework once a week. The expectations of my dance instructor to at least practice once a week (that's on thursdays. Cos monday is only dance lessons. If i add another practice on another day, t hat means 3 days a week of dancing. Not such a big deal, but i have to consider the fact that i'll b cutting down the time i get to spend doing other things, other things that i have to fulfill). Expectations of friends, no matter how busy i am, i do enjoy going out with friends and having a gd time. I feel bad when i can't meet them. I feel bad that they have to sometimes postpone outings bcos i couldn't make it.
In the end, sometimes it becomes more like having to fulfill the requirement of meeting up with them lest that they get disappointed. Not like im such an important character in my circle of friends, just that i do my best to be a good friend. As for dating, albert doesn't give mi any pressures. But i do wish we could spend more time together. It's ok....since we have many years ahead to spend together ... we can afford to miss some now :p
Back to the story, yesh i do break down bcos i couldn't handle all these. Mayb it's the way i looked at things, as if i have to meet everyone's expectations. But in actual fact, i can choose to look at it in a different way. Look at meeting them as an enjoyment rather than a duty. Think about how happy my mom will b when i do the houseworks (unless she doesn't appreciate my efforts...............), think abt how much i enjoy when i get to dance and how much im improving and it's worth the effort....think about how much joy i get when im out with friends.
So..im a busy woman. I can't believe pple label me as a busy woman. I used to b just a great stoner. But with all these activities, or 'duties' that i need to fulfill each week, im almost left with no other time for other things... every other activities like a day out shopping etc have to b planned properly, put into the schedule only when i really do have the time for it. I don't know if i should b happy that im so busy or upset about it.
I try not to get upset, esp when someone asks me out, and i have to plan like 2 weeks in advance. That's cos i can't see any time that i can put this person in for the next...2 weeks?Sighz. It's kinda sad. Everything seems like it has to b controlled tightly, if not it would go haywire.
So i clearly need a break. Wish i have the time to just nap in the noon during the weekends. Oh my precious time... Just don't feel like doing anything bcos im so tired out.
it's a new week ahead ..again. Another long cycle of busy schedule before i can catch alittle of my breath on the weekends. This monday and thursday would b dancing. Tues and Fri is free. WEd i have leaders training and sat morning leaders training, sat evening ex leader's baptism to attend, sunday church. That leaves tues and friday nite avaliable, sat noon n night avaliable and sunday evening n night avaliable. Tues night probably reserved for some housework. Fri....hmmm shopping mayb? or travel fairs at suntec? hmmmm...well aint so bad...still get to hmm do wat i wan, just that time is very tight.
My driving instructor has finally decided to go book my driving test date. He said he would go do it. I think earliest is august. But most likely it's sept. I saw the timetable aldy. SIAN.
Since it's gonna take another half a year, i'll juz take my own sweet time to perfect my always-very-hilarious-driving...
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