Thursday, March 01, 2007 . 2:21 PM
My friend was asking if i feel betta today, since i told him i had a quarrel with mom last nite. She complained that my rabbit's pee stink, the moment she stepped into the kitchen when she came back from work she complained of the stench. Then i went to check out if it's really so stinky. I even opened the door of the toilet and took a deep breathe. She muz b imagining things can. There's no stench lor. And there she was still continuously raining her anger on me, demanding that i clean up soon etc. When there's nothing that i deserved to b scolded..........
this is my reply to his email today. I don't feel like repeating aldy. So it shall b like this.
i don feel beta.In fact worse. Bcos i argued with my mom today.
she was raining bullets on me again today. abt the rabbit. She wans to make the whole family like on a tight tension.
She grabbed my rabbit and atempted to throw him away, i screamed and wanted ot grab the rabbit. she asked mi my mom more important or the rabbit. So drama
im v hurt. SHe always saying i don't help at all in this family. Since whne i dont?
as if i give the rabbit away she would not give mi shit.
she always say as if i don't care this is my familuy or not..it's v hurting lor. Im always os worried abt our family, doing my best of wat i wan....she said i didnt do anything.
i seriously don't know wat i really muz do. She wans mi to take over everything in the family. She wans freedom. She doens't wan to like have to take care of my dad or even cook for him. She says she's been having headaches..then she still have to wake up earlier to prepare breakfast for my dad. i couldn't even wake up earlier to help. The thing is she starts raining bullets at mi aldy..instead of telling mi to wake up earlier to help. U get wat i mean?
she wans mi to take over everything. But the thing is she's there to obstruct mi. She doesn't wan mi to take my own sweet time to do things. She doesn't think i'll do things when i drag... the thing is i have to work too, i have my own activities too. And im really tired sometimes. Y does she keep pushing me? She wans mi to take over but yet she CANOOT let mi do thing at my own time. If this is my own home, i'll b familiarised with wat to do and do them myself, but now im like taking over halfway. How i know wat has to b done? Like i have so much time to do everything oso.
She said she would move out when she finds a place. god knows if she's just threatening me or deep down inside she wished she could do that. I was v hurt by her saying tat. But then again now i think if she moves out, we would all b having a betta time. As i can't take care of myself? I used to take care of the whole hse when she wasn't ard oso. And it's so much easier without someone there oppressing mi all the time about all thse.Wat's there to argue? wat's there to b so trapped abt? she's the one trapping herself. and she's trapping everyone of us bcos of her own things
She refused to get medical help. And now we are all suffering bcos of her. it's such simple things but she cannot think out of hte box. Now im looking for tingkat delievery, mayb dinner or lunch. So she can have her watever freedom that she talks abt. Freaking bloody small thing lor. come on.
She even said that if she wans to b evil, she would want us to pay rental fees. OR asked us to move out. As if i don't have the money to move out? I have lor. Y do i stay here n get such things..??? She kept saying i so big then i pay for the electrical fees lar...then im juz thinking pls...i don pay meh? it's u don think im paying oni. She always say i don't contribute to the family expenses at all. Watver lar.. i told her last week that now i don have the ability to take on more things, but things will def b betta next time. NOw she says, wait for mi can wait till she go crazy.
KNS. now wat has that got to do with me? If she cannot solve her own probs i have ot help her solve them? She can don't wait ah. Go ahead then. Im feeling so tired and sore. I don't feel as if i shd care since she doesnt' appreciate anyway.
another part of mi tot abt taking over the hse totally, i won't care abt wat comments she give. Either she does as wat i say or she moves out then.
how she expects mi to take over when she's a complete wreck herself.
now i have to go clear up the shit or watever cold war we would have from now on ..when i go home. Freaking my fault. WHo asked mi canot tahan and wanna argue back.
If i go back and i don see my rabbit..i'll move out. she doesn't get that im her best ally. her onli help. She wanna chase mi away then she bear the rest of the shit herself lar, which is wat got her into her crazy mood....she thinks wat? im supposed to help her? all children so responsible meh? if i wan to b evil i can oso run away n not care abt this family.
all her big talks abt a family shd b compromising to each o ther and supportive. She doesn't even lead the fmaily rite...and she expects mi to sort things out. Wat is this?! how am i goign to do that?
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i admit i have alot of anger in me. Over everything. I feel helpless.
Who can save me?
WHo can actually step in and help me??
I can't stand pple who are so pessimistic everyday. There are some idiots on my msn whole day put depressing things like ' Death is the only relief for me' as their nicks etc.
Wat right have u got to say that huh?! In wat ways have ur life been so bad that u need to die??? My family is breaking apart. Oh im sorry it has broken apart YEARS ago. MY life is more shitty than any of yours. How dare you even say that. Go die lar. And relieve urself lar.
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