Tuesday, December 05, 2006 . 5:34 PM
There ONLY 4 more dance practices b4 the competition on 15th and performance on 16th. Frankly yes i was feeling alittle nervous and feeling the sense of doom approaching. WOrried.
Someone prayed for mi on Sunday and the verse that she gave mi, even tho she had only chatted with me for 5 mins and didn't know wat im worried about, was Matthew 6:33-34
33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Yes, i'll give my dance to God. Let him b in control. I don wan to feel the sense of dread over these 2 weeks over preparing for the events, i juz want to feel 'normal'. I don wan to b panicky nor worried..
But anyway from today onwards there was a sense of peace after i gave it to God. But i think it's my attitude towards things sometimes. I juz can't b bothered towards the end of things. It's always liek that. Like when i study, i'll pia so hard (last min) but make sure i have the last few days to slack abit. Then i'll juz give up studying after a while on the v last day, bcos i don think the last few hrs make much difference anyway. What could have been done has aldy been done during the times i spent pia-ing..
So in teh same way i gave up on trying to improve on my dance except what i can do. There are onli 4 more practices. I do not want to include another more practice. I don't think i can do much. I can onli do my best. There are so many things i can possibly improve but given the lack of time, no use trying too hard. My principles in life are that i don need to try to hard to get anything, and get so stressed up. I shd pray more. And i won't die even if i don get those things.
So die die lor..but i believe God would take care of mi. Im kinda slacking this thru. Haven't felt so mentally stress free for a long time siah. Im mentally drained. I aldy asked for 3 weeks of total absence from dancing after this 16th dec. At 1st he was apprehensive, was persuading mi to at least practice for once a week but i rejected. I really need the time for myself and my own things n my own frens. I think it's damn gd i've stick around the commitment for so long liao lor. It's time to rebel.
If u know mi well, shd know that im a person who can't handle commitment. Im not that kind of disciplined person ...mainly bcos i refused to. I need to rebel. I cannot juz guai guai like that. Fortuantely i've changed alot. I'm a now committed responsible person. But don't expect mi not to come out with patterns. I CANNOT stand being so prim and proper actually. I muz make sure i skip some lessons etc if not i feel tied down and restricted i'll die.
So 3 weeks break is gd. I can't wait.
I can't wait to get this dance performance done n over with ASAP!!!!!!
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