Tuesday, October 10, 2006 . 11:01 AM
MY love - hate relationship ...with Dancing
I'm gonna talk about the gd old days again. Recently have these memories coming back to me, mayb getting old makes mi nostalgic abt the old days.
I've always loved dancing. Im a very quiet kid. My mom neither sends me to ballet or piano classes, which was very common practice in those days to send your daughters to ballet and/or piano. Mayb m'sians don't do that haha i don't know. But anyway, from what i remembered singaporean parents seemed to do that.
I guessed i used to b fascinated with ballet. But my mom didn't send me, neither did i ask for it. I saw how the ballerina danced. 
They owned weird dancing shoes like such. And if you guys rem, back in the pri school days, we had some kind of similar school shoes that looked like ballet shoes. I demanded my mom get mi those. Besides this kind of shoes, the other kids wore the normal canvas shoes, big and chunky. I wanted this! So my mom got mi my ballet-lookalike shoes! And i was happy for years bcos i continued to have the ballet-lookalike shoes. But i think it became the fashion of ah lians by the time i got to sec sch so i stopped wearing them and back to the canvas.
I rememebred i joined chinese dance in pri 4. But wasn't really involved. It was fun tho. When i got into sec sch, i joined a dance club. So that i can finally dance. IT was so exciting. Until i got too stressed out by the commitment levels and the trainings. We did everything from training to b flexible, to split, to doing curtwheels, handstands..basically really flexible, gd muscular control over parts of your body. It was indeed fun. The bonding b/w the members were another gd factor, but sometimes they gossip too much against each other and politics started flying all over the place.
While most ECA back then required only once a week commitment, mine was as many as thrice a week and each time more than 3 hours. When there we have to prepare for any performances, we often have to come back more than that. It was pure hard work. But when you dance, you feel the satisfaction. It feels great you could do all these. Mayb deep down im a performer, not the shy me.
BY end of sec 3, i was drained. Dance no longer became fun for me. It was pure practice, pure torture, pure training. This is the kind of life a professional dancing is required to have. Train n train...perfection is the word. I once aspired to be a dancer, but i gez i couldn't take too much hardship. I asked myself is it worth all my time and energy to b so obsessed over perfecting my dance, my movements, how i present my dance? Then i ended up giving up. I told the instructor that i have to go home (sarawak) during holidays and i cna't practice for the performances...during holidays the trainings were like doubled u know. So i dropped out of perfecting my dance ...but i was still training...felt betta but yet far from the other members bcos i was different.
After sec sch, i didn't join anymore dance. I needed a break from all the dance. And i completely stopped dancing...
When my love for dancing was revived when i was with YC, i wanted to join salsa. TO enjoy that feeling once again. There are two kinds of feelings. To dance on stage, to perform is very different from dancing leisurely. TO dance on stage requires that determination, the perfection, the strength. One chinese idiom says, 10 mins on stage is 10 yrs offstage's training. I totally agree. But the satisfaction is great. The claps of the crowds. The feeling of taking the stage and ignoring the crowd as you do your things. Mayb deep down im really a performer. I like the feeling of freedom. So i gez being on stage gives mi that feeling. But it's so tedious. Leisure dancing is juz for your own fun, but like no aim like that...
After my breakup, i enroled in my salsa class till now. I've been very happy in the beginning. But as i get myelf into the perfomance status, i'm afraid i'll starting hating dance again. So much commitment. SO tedious. It kills your fun of dancing, bcos everything is serious. So my teacher tries not to stress mi out. And he tries to bring mi out to leisure dance as well so that i won't get so bored juz perfecting our moves.I learnt alot. Im learning waltz,tango,rumba,rock n roll,rock disco on the dance floor as we go out n play. My salsa is really improving lots. When we danced salsa in class, the students always come over and praise mi on how gd i am etc etc. Im not a proud person. And im shy when pple shower mi with praises. I don't really need praises and sometimes i really wish they don't come n tell mi all these. Bcos last thing i want is to be different from the rest. But yet i am different. Some gals envy mi. Some gals will say bad things behind mi, it's inevitable. I don't mind. But i wish to tell them, you envy me? U can try doing this at performance level then see if u really want to envy me.
I love dancing. I really love dancing. when i see that i can actually dance like that, i get excited and yes i really love dancing.
Isnt it romantic to be able to dance with your bf/husband?
So i gez my conclusion is ...i love dancing very much but i hate practicing bcos im lazy. But for my lack of practice i think im doing pretty well. Haha
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