Friday, October 06, 2006 . 5:34 PM
Im so damn glad this week is over!!! I don't know why im so tired everyday. And i even took leave on Tuesday to rest but im still really tired. MAyb totally burnt out since these few weeks been running ard.
i went to Faithacts' tuition on Wed night.Faithacts is a community place set up for kids from pri to sec sch.A place for them to hang out,activities and also tuition programmes at very low prices to help those needy kids. I was told that some kids are really rebellious etc. And hearing some horrific stories, i was really apprehensive abt whether i shd volunteer. Besides actually tuitioning them, we could serve as a mentor to them as well. I mean the responsibilities are great. For mi, i wanted to serve, so i joined. But then after i joined, i realised i really don't have much time left for myself n family.And im not really passionate in teaching. Anyway i went for the 1st time.Luckily! God blessed with mi a bright student, altho alittle talkative. And im supposed to have 2 kids, but the other one didn't come so im really thankful if not i'm not used to handling 2 kids at the same time. I saw how professional some other other tutors were and i realised im so not like a tuition teacher.:p Another week of tuition, then the prog for this will end. Im thinking of not carrying on next yr since i can't commit for a yr. Don't wan to affect the students if i have to drop out halfway..so i think i won't start. I can always serve in other areas. I do want to serve.
As for y i don think i wanna go into tuition bcos mon n thurs are aldy taken up by dancing and will always b for the coming yr, so with wed taken up, i'll only have tues and friday. And weekends but sun is quite packed with church aldy. With how much my mom has made improvements, i don't want to juz leave her like that...i would want to really focus on her,spending time with her etc. Mayb now im getting quite obsessed with her. Mayb im trying to rush her to recovery, which i know is not really possible in the short term but yet i wan her to recover n improve as much as possible. It's really selfish of mi i gez. I was reminded once again that I shd not limit what God can do, He can change things anytime, unexpectedly. And i hold witness to that ..many many times again n again. Yet i feel like im being obsessed with her and not letting God do the work. 
I tot the situation is like this. And me being so obsessed with my mom's progress, my feelings will go up when she's doing betta and once she shows any signs of depression or watever, i'll 'fall' with her and feel as if i've failed.
But actually,
She is improving......life is not a bed of roses. I can't expect my mom to NOT feel negative AT ALL. But as long as she's improving...yap gd for her. I'll leave mom in God's hands. He loves her more than i do.
Sorry i have to put my rabbit in. hahaa....it's for practice mah...practice my photoshop mah........if not nowhere to use it on leh......oh i forgot to include God inside. :p
And to end this blog, an email from my dear cousin.And a reminder at a very gd time.
Subject: Rick Warren interview (author of "purpose driven life")
>
> Rick Warren interview
>
> You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife,
> Kay, now having cancer and him having "wealth" from the book
> sales.This is an absolutely incredible interview with Rick Warren,
> "Purpose Driven Life " author and pastor of Saddleback Church in
> California .
>
> In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
>
> People ask me, What is the purpose of life?
>
> And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We
> were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
> One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body
> but not the end of me.
>
> I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend
> trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress
> rehearsal.
>
> God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in
> eternity.We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that
> out, life isn't going to make sense.
>
> Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just
> coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.
>
> The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character
> than your comfort.
>
> God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in
> makingyour life happy.
>
> We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of
> life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
>
> This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the
> toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.
>
> I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a
> dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't
> believe that anymore.
>
> Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind
> of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all
> times you have something good and something bad in your life.
>
> No matter how good things are in your life, there is always
> something bad that needs to be worked on.
>
> And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always
> something good you can thank God for.
>
> You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.
> If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,
> "my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get
> rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
>
> We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of
> thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for
> her.
>
> It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her
> character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a
> testimony, drawn her closer to Hi m and to people.
>
> You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
> Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For
> instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15
> million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.
>
> It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with
> before. I don't think God gives you money or
> notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.
>
> So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this
> money,notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that
> helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.
>
> First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our
> lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
>
> Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary
> from the church.
>
> Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace
> Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the
> sick, and ed ucate the next generation.
>
> Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years
> since I started the church, and I gave it all
> back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
>
> We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions?
> Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures?
> Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's
> purposes (for my life)?
>
> When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say,
> God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more
> and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a
> to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's
> why we're called human beings, not human doings.
>
> Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
> Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
> Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
> Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
> Every moment, THANK GOD.
I had comments like im really cute in my pri sch photo, like a baby doll on the sofa hoho (abit kuazhang but so happy) and someone actually said i didn't grow much since then lor -_- unhappy....
So to show u how cute i am again, heee..XDXD
My grandpa's dog and me. I was so loved...by honey.
A sulking photo during cny. My one and only qipao that i ever had, beside the traditional vase, designs typical from the Dayaks
(Borneo's indigenous pple). For gd geography's sake, Sarawak is in borneo. Borneo is made up of Sarawak,sabah,brunei and Kalimantan(which belongs to Indonesia). Im pretty proud of my heritage i gez hee
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