Wednesday, September 20, 2006 . 11:53 AM
necklace of memory by ~NightDragonFly on deviantART
As i looked thru my diary, this mth+ or so has been up and down for mi. Constant struggles with issues. Mayb it's the struggle that proved too tiring for a human being like mi to take, i couodn't really make it thru the last issue, which involves the family n my parents. I've struggled, fell terribly, depressed, and now i think it's time to stand up on my feet again. And realising that i can't do all things on earth and instead of feeling miserable, i should focus on how God can help me, even if it means i can oni see the results like a few years later. Patience...Love...
Trials make us stronger, makes us grow spiritually and rely on God even more. I have to meet all these to make mi realise how inadequate i am..how weak i really am..
Thanks to all the frens who cared. Sometimes i feel v alone in all these. I donoe if it's me who chose to isolate myself or was i really lacking of frens who understands or care. It's alittle unfair to say no one really understands wat i go thru.. even if you guys don understand, you guys gave concern and that's enuff for mi to know that i'm also loved and cared for.
Last nite alone, was a breakthru in my 'social' life i gez. from wanting to avoid as many pple as possible (that's one characteristic of depression, to isolate urself), i was talking openly to a number of frens abt my family, and trust mi it's not easy to b so open...I met Lloyd for a short din for a little catchup. It wasn't planned, it was v last minute. And i shared with him what happened. Then i went home, Richard my adopted cousin called mi. We haven't chatted for like eons.Months. I know he was also very concerned abt wat my family is going thru. And im glad he called. Then Keith called out of nowhere to ask me how am i aldy. I told him quite some time ago that im depressed..and that's prob a mth ago..i was surprised he called, but he had no idea wat im going thru .. he juz happened to call. And hey that's really nice..to knw that pple do think abt you sometimes. Then chatted with Albert. And then my cousin. Im thankful. It's time that i step out of my own misery and let God heal us. Let God show mi others who need care n concern too...always make a point to show others that you care by actions,by calling them up, by talking to them once in a while, bcos u never know which hearts out there needs some warmth that could come from small actions of yours, that would mean a matter of importance to them. I can onli do all these thru God, bcos there's a limit of how much love n care a person can give, but God gives all these to me so that i'll never dry out n i can pass it other pple.
Julian even dedicated an entry to mi. Im really touched. Thank you.
http://countingmyblessings.blogs.friendster.com/countingmyblessings/2006/09/a_post_to_yann.html
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