Thursday, August 03, 2006 . 6:00 PM
I'm one confused being. Always like this.
I realised i really do not know where to head. I'm even considering a sales job now. Juz went for medical sales representative interview. SO -so i gez. I donoe wat i wan, wat shd i do, what's best for me.
I'm the sort of person who can adapt to my surroundings easily. Mayb that's one characterisitic i shd let my interviewers know :p. U juz have to put mi in one place and i'll adapt soon. I'm not used to looking for what i want. It's like when i look for shoes, for some furniture, i'll look for something roughly i want, and then 'train' myself to adapt to it and eventually i'll love them.
So you see, i'm not sure what i shd b doing or looking for. I adapt to things and love them eventually. But i hope i'm not giving up a stable gd comfortable job for something that i eventually found unfulfilling and stupid.
My enthusiasm also goes off like pretty fast.3 min passion the chinese proverbs goes. Luckily, my stubborness keeps mi in my tracks. I'm not a determined person.
I would say my family situation made mi just wanna go for something easier. There's no pt holding onto something, determined to make it big, do it all the way. Bcos for me, there were many thigns i wished i could go n do, but given my family situation, i had no money..and that basically means i can't do almost everything i wanna do. I've let to just let go. No pt throwing a big fuss over how i can't do it while everyone can. Sometimes i wish i'm a more hardwoking person, more determination. Mayb i would b on a different position today. But nah. I prefer things to drop on my feet, so i gez i'm also a damn lazy idiot.
Anyway to keep things short, God will provide. He knows wat's best for mi when i don't. He will lead and i'll trust that He leads. I've lots of time and lessons to learn b4 i know how to trust Him to lead mi to where HE wans mi to go.
Bold prayer i gez. But at least i had the courage to pray and ask for that. =)
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