Tuesday, July 04, 2006 . 4:23 PM
I've come to realise that i'm a selfish idiot.
I'm selfish with my time.
I'm selfish with my own space.
I hate pple controling me.
I hate being controlled, whether they intentionally did it or not, i hate it.
I hate pple nagging at me.
I hate pple intruding my space and telling me wat to do.
Mayb .... i've been too hurt.
But i've realised that's one major NO NO when it comes to how i handle things.
I always seek to break away from the 'controls'.
Be it my parents, or teachers, or salsa, or work...i will always strive to break it. Simply cos i can't stand being controlled,tied down or restricted.
I believe my life is up to me on how i shd live it. I submit only to GOd. And now i'm struggling to submit to wat my mom asks of me, that is to stay home more.
*mumble mumble* Feeling rather stressed and tired. I'm not having enuff rest. I'm not handling things well. I need to get enuff rest, sleep earlier, so that i have more energy to do wat i need to do and do it betta. I would have salsa on monday and 2 trainings (tues and thurs) per week. I have to stay home more, to build up a betta family relation...
On top of that, Taxi fare is gonna increase soon..that means lesser late nites and more hardworking part of me. Crawl oso muz crawl home to save up on that stupid taxi fare increase. kidding...haha i think i will still take taxi :P
So now i'm forced to submit to time constraint. I have to pioritise. I have to wait. I have to not go home after 12pm(at least b4 the bus stops). I have to stay home more. I also have to have a better and more disciplined QT and prayer life. Bcos i believe if u walk close to GOd, my life is all in His hands, i will not b struggling so hard to keep it from falling apart. He will give mi all the peace and rest that i need ( of cos it also means sleeping early lar!)So if ur life is messed up, it's a gentle reminder from your Father that u need to go to HIm liao.... =)
That's my very 5 cent worth.
I hope hanjie updates his blog. I feel like i'm being conned into this blog business again.
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