Sunday, July 09, 2006 . 1:20 PM
Today, i feel lousy. In fact, i've been feeling lousy and irritated these 3 days. Yesterday, i quarelled with my mom in the morning. I had bible study in the noon. I was so affected, i didn't feel like going for bible study.
My aunt moved over to my room to stay for these few days. And i've been ousted to the balcony to sleep on the floor(on mattress lar..) with my mom on the bed. It's only seperated from the rest of the hse, living room by this 2 peice curtain. Obviously not enuff to keep the noise away. They woke up at 7am. And there i was lying on the bed, trying to sleep but couldn't becos of the noise they made. Then they went off to the market and i had peace for 2 hrs. I was really irritated. But i didn't react badly. I was irritated mainly cos i wanna sleep more and my right leg is giving mi probs again. I woke up at 10+ again, bcos they were back..and i felt horrible. I have 3 uclers in my mouth,one on a really strategic position which is on the tip of my tongue. I neevr knew how much my tongue means to me until today..almost every move the tongue makes hurts like hell. I don't want to talk much, but i had to get my mom and aunt's attention...etc....man i'm getting irritated. I'm feeling like i'm damn sick. I went to see the tie da for my right leg. They told me to go back on monday for another round of (damn painful) treatment.I wonder if i can still dance after that. I have to drink two rounds of brewed herbal tea and some cupsulated pills lar...it makes me somehow psychologically feel damn sick. The herbal tea is soooo bitter!!! :( OH my God...pls spare mi of all these....=(
The lady doctor at the tie da was telling me that some of her patients described the treatments as more painful than giving birth -_-, which seriously made mi juz wanna scream more than i was aldy doing -_-. Oh well...now that i know how giving birth feels like, and since i can survive this horrible treatment, giving birth seems like a bloody small case.
I'm really in such a shitty mood. I don feel like praising GOd, don't feel like praying...Yet i know if only i had prayed i would not be feeling this way. As the song, 'Let everythign that has breath' goes ..praise you when i'm young and old, praise you when i'm grieving... We have every reason to praise God even if we do not 'feel' like it, or when we are gonig thru a horrible time. He is great, worthy of our praise. We are made to desire to worship and please Him. When we do not feel like it, and we still say," Ok, Father..i'll still do it..for you" It's called willing sacrifice. That's wat i read from purpose-driven life haha...When you wake up to do QT or worship tho ur tired, when you go out and help someone when you doesn't feel like it, when you praise GOd when you don't feel like it, it's a sacrifice you are lying on the altar for God. I'm not saying FORCE yourself to do it. Worship n praise should be sincere. The words we say are sincere. But it's whether you take the step to doing them in the 1st place...
Today, i really think i'm having a hard time. Hard time trying to keep everything together.I don't know how this new week will be like, i'll take it as it comes. SO Lord, give me the desire to say how great you are even tho i feel that my world is falling apart. I know that you have everything covered in your hands, and you will help me. Lord, i lay them all down at your feet, you b in control of them so that i don't have to worry abt them anymore. Father, you will bring me thru everything, i pray for wisdom in speech,discernment in decision making and peace. MY family and my mom, they are in your proper care, i ask for healing for us, and trust that you will make all things right, in your time. I pray for today's 40th anniversay celebration, that as you bring all of us back into your santuary, take all worries and matters that will draw us from you away, that we can come to you for the sole purpose of wanting to worship and please you.Amen.
Psalm 150
1 Praise the LORD. [a]
Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty heavens.
2 Praise him for his acts of power;
praise him for his surpassing greatness.
3 Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,
praise him with the harp and lyre,
4 praise him with tambourine and dancing,
praise him with the strings and flute,
5 praise him with the clash of cymbals,
praise him with resounding cymbals.
6 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD.
Let Everything That Has Breath lyrics by Matt Redman
Lyrics:
CHORUS:
Let everything that, everything that,
Everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Let everything that, everything that,
Everything that has breath praise the Lord.
VERSE 1:
Praise You in the morning,
Praise You in the evening,
Praise You when I'm young and when I'm old.
Praise You when I'm laughing,
Praise You when I'm grieving,
Praise You every season of the soul.
If we could see how much You're worth,
Your power, Your might, Your endless love,
Then surely we would never cease to praise.
VERSE 2:
Praise You in the heavens, joining with the angels,
Praising You forever and a day.
Praise You on the earth now, joining with creation,
Calling all the nations to Your praise.
If they could see how much You're worth,
Your power, your might, your endless love,
Then surely they would never cease to praise.
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