Wednesday, June 21, 2006 . 5:14 PM
I'm lazy to write. Haha..I shall play cheat and 'dump' a thanksgiving email i wrote to a fren on 22th May 06. It was a hard time for me as my mom was going thru a bad time. Her mom passed away and she was devasted. No long after that she was in this bout of depression, and decided to throw everything in the hse to me. She went disappearing for a day(not to mention i was so sick that day, but she left me half dead, to fend for myself..i actually meant to settle my meals n my dad's myself!) I couldn't even rest properly cos half the time i was so worried abt my mom doing silly things. I was so scared. But when she came back, i had a gd talk with her, settled some issues...there are many things that i'm learning to cope. Many things that i feel that's beyond wat i've ever known, for example how to show love and concern for my mom. I oso come to realise that she's just another human being,who needs my love too. So nowadays i tell some of my frens that i've to go home n mop the floor, sounds absurd. But it's one of the ways i show my mom that i care abt the family and her. Mopping the floor shows that i love her :p
Anyway, one of the issues was my rabbit. She STILL wans to dump my rabbit and insists that i do it. So ok, for my mom i said ok i will do it....but actually i really don want to..duh. Then she went asking her fren to go ask others if they can take a rabbit -_-..... the rest are mentioned in the email..
22/05/06
Last nite, my mom's fren called. My mom has been asking her to find frens who can take care of my rabbit. This auntie is v funny one. She's v bubbly, from hongkong..always laughing..then she called and told me she found a family in her church who can take care of my rabbit. The daughter is ard my age she told me. Asked mi to befriend her. The gal never took care of rabbits b4 leh. I'm abit apprehensive abt it. I don't even wan to give away my rabbit. Ah?I donoe..i think I'll meet up with the gal or something n talk to her?.but I don wan to give away my rabbit!!! My mom went to work so she donoe abt the call, think auntie will call her to tell her anyway one lar.. Pray that I can get to keep my dear rabbit..he's too cute to b given away. Pple donoe how to take care???.
Then we went on to talk abt my mom's condition. She was advising mi to give the rabbit away cos it does give my mom stress, asked mi not to blame my mom. And she empathised with me, cos she would love to take care of the rabbit for mi but she has to keep going to Hongkong..so cannot.. I'm very thankful to God bcos He has put this auntie in my mom's life. They knew each other at the workplace, but she has left the job aldy some mths ago..
Took my mom sometime to actually open up to her abt her family probs n herself. My mom don't usually tell her frens things, onli this auntie and another auntie knows abt our probs. And the amazing thing is this auntie is a catholic. So she's been telling my mom abt God, abt God loving her etc, counselling her abit? what I couldn't do, this auntie could help to do it.
I personally find it really hard to tell my mom abt God bcos of the language barrier..I donoe how to phrase it in chinese, and it comes out so broken..My mom oso not v willing to go church with me, even if it's to go to the chinese congregation one?then I told auntie abt it, asked her to bring my mom to her church (it's chinese congre) then she told me not to worry, she would DRAG my mom down to her church. I think it's much betta this way. A fren could do wat a daughter can't?and I donoe anyone from the chinese congre of our church, but going to her church, she will intro the other pple to her and it's gd to b with God's pple and learning abt how God loves her?.the thing is she doesn't know how much God loves her. So it's gd?even tho it's catholic church..at least she's still with God's pple and can still hear abt God. I juz not sure if she can get used to the catholic mass?. I was thinking if auntie really can get my mom going to church, I'll tag along sometimes too..at least I'm ok with mass?which means lloyd betta teach mi more abt the mass n wat to do?cos I always kinda feel at a loss there..
She was telling me that God is almighty and nothing is impossible to Him ?erm in broken chinese n super cantonese ascent.. She told me to pray for my mom all the time, cos God will hear our prayers and ans them. I told her I do? she later told mi as a matter of factly, trust God, my family will be complete and my mom will b healed, it's a matter of time only. WOW?I felt so encouraged. Actually it took mi these few yrs to actually really put my family in God's hands..it's only recently that I learnt to trust God to work in my family, I've been waiting for so long?but to tell the truth, all those yrs when I was waiting, I was not praying enuff, and I didn't really think that God will help. I was juz ok .. God pls help me..and I didn't even have the faith to believe that God WILL change the situation. I Just waited n see ..if got then gd..if don have then ok?..i'll get upset n feel that it's hopeless???? I never had a christian elder to offer advice and support for me n family. Hsiaolin's parents are not christians. They can onli offer material and physical help. My cousin, biao jie (ard my mom's
age) is a christian, and I believed she has been talking to my mom abt God too?but the christians ard me are ard my age?never had someone my mom's age told mi all these. I'm very encouraged after I heard her. And really, very amazed at hw God is moving now?and im also v thankful for this chance to talk to my mom's fren, bcos usually we don really talk, not even with my biao jie?it's nice to tok to this auntie, if not cos of my mom, we won't talk?and of cos it's nice to b talking abt God and church with her too.
Recently, when my mom went crazy, I oso had a chance to talk to my biao jie, usually won't one lor?.suddenly juz began talking..v nice too? so I'm not alone, pple are helping ..and at my mom's level, pple are helping mi at my level.
Things would not b a bed of roses. Trials will still come our way but I will trust God to take us thru. I'll wait for the day when my family can sit ard happily and chit chat n b a wonderful support to each other.
So thanksgiving?.1) that God has placed pple to b a support n help for my family without me actually realising it. He's starting to move and heal my family. I'm so in awed
2) The chance to talk to my relative n mom's fren
3) encouragement from pple, from her fren and the pcm (cell grp who has been supporting my family thru prayers and visting my hse)
4) teaching me to trust in Him
And I hope I don have to give away my rabbit ?
Told auntie to drag the whole thing haha?mayb my mom will change her mind..then she laffed ..and said ok?
Jiayann
PS: My rabbit is still with me. My mom is much betta. WEll she didn't really insist on getting rid of rabbit but oso never say rabbit can stay. Shall pray and cross my fingers!!
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