Monday, October 03, 2005 . 5:50 PM
Love is a decision.
fuelled by the desire of something unattainable.... or a goal far enough to keep the drive, yet attainable in the far future to keep the hope.
if something is too readily available, we lose interest. except if it really goes beyond our expectations and we are awed by it being available. even then, complacency settles in.
In a way, relationships based on desiring the other, for the sake of the other, dies down after the chase is over.... It is common knowledge that once a couple gets married, trouble starts. Because what was wished for has been obtained, it's hard to keep the romance and to "work for it"... trying to get the other's attention.
A relationship based on religion would have a longer lifetime, since there is something external that binds the two together. It can stand the tests of change of personality, change in moods, changes in likes and dislikes - which happen in everybody over the course of their lives.
if, in addition to this, the religion teaches self-giving and directs the couple towards aiming at each other's happiness, then they have a good foundation for a life giving and fulfilling relationship.
When people get together for the first time, it depends very much on their state of minds, on the timing, on what they have in common at that time. Some like to play tennis, they spend more time together playing tennis, get to enjoy each other's company... and eventually they get together, despite not playing tennis anymore. Then, the time of self-discovery and the thrill of it is enough to keep them going. Stuck to each other. But eventually something external has to come in to keep them connected. Often it's kids, mutual friends, other hobbies they pick up.
i'm just blabbering.
the thought that came to my mind while having all these random thoughts was this. How does God love us?
Love is a decision.
God is Love.
Thus God has decided to love us. Whether we are worthy of it or not. Whether we deserve it or not. Whether we do good or bad.
Like lovers, who has committed himself or herself to the other, God is Faithful. and ever constant.
He has decided to love us, and nothing would change his mind. Nothing can, nothing will.
That doesn't exclude the fact that He will correct us and sometimes even shake us up. But His Love is constant.
...gives me an insight on how to truly love others. it's not only about smiling and being nice. Love is beyond emotions, beyond chemistry, beyond instincts. Love is a decision, and that's what makes humanity divine...
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we want to love someone Else... because we want to be with someone/something/somewhere that is More than what we are. outside of our world. in a way, we then realise with awe, that the universe is not part of our construct. but is embelished through the interactions with the many others surrounding us.
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infatuation is the same chemical reaction in the brain as a large dose of chocolate.
This is something that Lloyd wrote sometime ago. I tot it's really beautiful. http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=T_for_2&tab=weblogs&uid=342269966
ON the other hand, i didn't go work today. I tink that irresponsible side of me does not diasppear with time. Back in the old days of uni, i decide to skip school when i do not feel like going. Wish everything is this simple in the working world. I can't make myself disappear whenever i feel like it. I have so many pple to answer to.
Frankly, sometimes somethings get to me so much that i can't be bothered about how other pple think abt me. I'll juz take the bloody urgent leave. I don't even care about saving my leaves by going to the doc (to beg/ demand) for a mc. So i took leave. haha..confessiing again that actually i told the secretary that i want a half day morning urgent laeve.And then thru a phone chat with my colleague, he said y not juz take whole day n don come back..in fact y not take mc!! And i was thinking, ok i think i betta go polyclinic, get the referral to SNEC to have my eyes checked. I've been draggign this long enuff.
The doctor asked, "how long have u been seeing the floaters?"(black dots when u look at things..and i onli see 3 now) And i said," a few mths.." and went on to explain abt my 4-5 yrs ago plight with these floaters...then she said i shd go back to NUH. I could feel my whole face of relunctance showing man..i don wan to go nuh...boohoo..but then when i think of how near NUH is compared to SNEC..hmm..ok i kinda gave in lar haha. And then she commented," if u see alot more floaters, quickly go to the A&E" wah..arent' she abit kuazhang!! I don't think my condition is so bad as to render going to A&E leh!! Anyway i said ok...obedient like a dog.
It's a really weird feeeling to be walking around on the street when u shd b at work. Everything looks n feel different somehow. o_O It's like at clementi central, the onli pple i encountered were the old auntie uncles and students and students and students. I donoe how i fit in. Oh did i mention a lady at bazaar tot i'm a student? Cos she wanted mi to come n collect some stuff that i ordered from her the next day. And i asked wat time will she be here till etc..and she said i can come n collect anytime in b/w classes..and i juz have to break the news that oh i'm actuall working i can't come anytime hahaa..she was so shocked. yes i juz wan to boast abt how young i look still. =)
I wanna mention that i was so touched today when i recieved a call from deying all the way from KL. Called by hse phone somemore!! My mom asked mi to pick up the phone and i was thinking it won't b my call wat..then who knows! Deying leh! And i tot she didn't go to KL. Thanz fren. And my couz who stayed up with me last nite. Avaliable for me even tho it's at 2am. Thanz =)
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