Thursday, June 16, 2005 . 4:52 PM
* I'm normal *
When the whole world thinks ur wrong doesn't mean you are wrong. When the whole world thinks you are weird/abnormal, you may not be the one who is weird or abnormal.
Haha..i don mean anything. I'm juz talking nonsense. I'm feeling much betta and i attribute it to the lack of isolation now. Juz when i revealed how depressed i am, God turned the situation around(finally!!) and gave mi lots of users to (fan/pester) be around and each of them i held a comfortable period of chitchatting with. And then i feel so much betta!
One user even actually out of the blue commented,' i juz realised there's no windows in your lab, this is not gd' And woah i was like HEY u feel the 'effect' too!! And then the next moment she carried on,' You must tell your boss to do something. The chemicals will not do u gd if you are couped up her with them for long period of time' I almost told her that's not wat i'm concerned with. I'm concerned with being suffocated to death by this overglowing gloominess due to fact that we deprieved some sunshine!!
To tell you how much sun have a 'happy' effect on us human..it juz happened that my lab and boss's other 2 labs are in the same side of the building which means no windows. We have a pantry with big long windows that allow you to watch the skies without straining your eyes. So i was going into the pantry to top up hot( yes hot not warm mind u..this lab is a bloody cold north pole) water. So after i'm done with it, i caught a glimpse of the window while i was about to leave. And like magnet being pulled over, i juz got attracted by the sunshine out there! It felt so bloody gd! I wish i'm out there basking under the warm sun. I can't believe i'm even saying this. I'm really quite deprieved. Then i stood there lost in my wonderful tots of warm sunshine then i have to go back, back to my blardy cold lab. Really. U have no idea how cold this place is. I donoe y they wan to blast the aircon here..sobz. I'm wearing a long sleeve top for days..and with that u feel VERY cold still, so i'll have to put on another jacket. And then i still feel cold. So today i brought along a very thick jacket, suitable for travelling to slightly colder countries. Next i may consider bringing thermal wear bcos i'm s till not feelng warm. Now i'm quite warm n nice bcos i've put on my jacket and my lab coat. As if the cold is not cold enuff..boss sent mi to the cold room to find something this morning. I didn't wear my lab coat too lazy. Armed with my jacket and remember my long sleeve top i went into the bloody bloody cold COLD room. The cold room is kept at -4 degree celcius. So imagine u working into ur fridge. Mayb on a hot day u feel great with the fridge door opened towards you. But ..seriously..being inside there..and all the fan plus donoe wat to keep the temp low blowing at u it's quite unbearable. UR jeans immediately feel the cold. So i was there searching n searching for 5 mins for a thing that couldn't be found and i decided i shd get the hell out of here, bcos my hands are getting alittle numb.
Think my fingers have gone thru pretty harsh temperature change such that it's getting quite tolerant towards hot n cold. We have a machine called cyrostat. u have to stick ur hands inside this chamber to section the frozen tissue at -20 degree celsius so can u imagine that ur hands go numb most of the time and thats how i didn't even know i cut myself with the blade.
Then we have a HUGE -80 degree celcius fridge. To put all kinds of chemicals rubbish that needs to b stored there. And there is no space for mi/my lab/my users' stuffs so i put my users' samples in a small transpapen plastic bag and stuffed it at one corner so that i can easily locate it the next time. It's so cold that most of the fridge is filled with ice it's v difficult to look for things. And then the other boss's lab throw my plastic bag ard,everytime i go n look for it it's at some different position than it was the last time round! Once i couldn't find it. I searched all over that section, my hands were totally numbed so i had to try to 'feel' wat i was searching for as i can see the the deeper end of the fridge. It was so horrible bcos my hands were so cold that it hurt and i had to bring my hands out once in a while incase it got frozen and drop off..ok i'm kidding. But it's really painful. Then finally found that darn plastic bag and i was super unhappy that i can't even have some space for my lab n users. I removed my lab gloves and taddaaa 10 swollen red fingers staring at mi and i couldn't feel a thing~ and then it was juz pure pain. It took half an hr for the whole thing to go away. And undoubtedly i was very pissed. I swear i'm gonna get a box so that i have a space for my lab in that darn fridge.
And the nworking with that wax machine requires mi to touch metal blocks that have been raised up to like 70 degree celcius? holding it for 2 seconds burns ur fingers equivalent to burning ur fingers when u touch a boiling pot. So yeah now i have really thick skinned fingers to protect mi from the hot. how nice u know.
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