Saturday, January 22, 2005 . 3:46 PM
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I think depression kinda left me ever since THE period came on Thurs. When i looked back at the past 2-3 weeks or so, the slow onset of depression and the full blast, i remembered how horrible i felt. It was like a constant struggle to keep myself sane bcos most of the time i felt like i wanna scream or tear my hair out. I felt so vexed so uncomfortable so irritated that every single small thing pissed mi off. To add that on, really hardly anyone understands how difficult it is to sit there and achieve nothing everyday. I'm really not that sort of person lor. I need to feel that i'm useful at least. And i think everyone needs to feel useful. That's wat we do isn't it? If i give ur all the chance to sit infront of ur pc everyday sooner or later u gonna loathe this kind of life. I don mind working...neither do i wan a stressful work. But bumming ard everyday is horrible. That's all i wanna say. It's so wasting my time. Mayb this job aint for me. Or mayb things would get betta. Anyway i'm feeling much betta now that Period has come. SO i think my depression had to do with more of biological than psychological watever. On thurs we had our staff lunch at mandarin hotel. Had buffet not too bad cos it's free. After that we were free to go home or do watever we want. But 2 of my colleagues had to go back to nus to carry on with their research. That's research life man. Sux...ok onli i think it sux. Aparently they are used to living this sort of life. So after that i met yicai up(he still got his mc) and shopped and shopped. Boy we were so happy. OK at least i was happier. My cramps came and then i refused to go home and rest. I was so agitated that hey finally i get a gd chance to shop my cramps were preventing me?!?! NOOOO i ate one panadol and carried on. Slowly tho. I got most of the things on my list. So i don think i would b shopping much, mayb get more tops that's all...Rem friday nite i was supposed to go for the bbq that i so dreaded? Well i called the danish lady and told her i'm having cramps so i won't b going. It was a white lie. But i did feel qutie uncomfy. I think panadol does have some side effects huh. I don think i'll ever eat panadol for period cramps anymore. It sux. I supsect it's making mi uncomfy for 2 days when usually after the 1st day everyday is a breeze. Panadol sux..and it's PANADOL MENSTRUAL somemore. Watever. OK yeah betta days ahead till the next pms come. 
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