Thursday, December 02, 2004 . 2:24 PM
+ Exhausted, drained my life out of me +
OH man. I'm so damn exhausted. Every single day that passed, i feel even more tired. If there's scale to measure tiredness i muz b hitting 9/10. Tomoro would b 10/10 - knockout...well at least knockout after work.
I'm so irritated. So tired. I'm so irritated that i'm so tired. I can't even enjoy my life properly...i spent most of my life being tired. Cos y? cos i've been sleeping at 12+ to 1 am recently. Last week was bad enuff..then weekends didn't sleep well either then sunday nite slept at 1am cos of that korean movie which started at 9.50pm! That's it liao lor...snowball to today's zombie state. Man...................
Tonite, meeting up with the gals, xiaoying,jen and Qingli for my belated bday celebration. Frankly ah..it doesn't feel much of a bday aldy..haha. But anyway it 's nice to be able to meet up ...we meet up so seldom nowadays..kinda sad.
Tomoro, prob going swimming after work with deying, meimei at xiaohui's place. Hai. I'm really very tired. I hope i don fall asleep while swimming my pathetic free-style..
Hai so irritated. I'm so tired. I can't b bothered abt anything else. Esp that my mom has been givin mi faces and naggings cos of the rabbit again. Seriously man. I can hit my chest and swear to GOd that eh..i've done alot for this family. Mayb i've not done the MOST, or the best...but i've done alot. I don even wan to announce to them wat have i sacrificed for this family juz to keep it going. And all i ask is some appreciation, if not...juz a little wish fulfilled, and that is i get to keep my rabbit. THat's the ONLI thing i ask from them ok. I don ask for money. I don ask that she iron all my clothes, wash all my clothes or do all the hseworks...Man...i feel that sometimes me being so responsible for my dad is almost so insignificant. My bro does almost nothing nowadays. HE has to choose to work from 2pm to 9pm everyday except wed, and so who to heat up the food for my dad? ME lor....and then my mom says if i wanna go out then let her know lar then she can kinda prepare everything in a dish and try to keep it warm and my dad can have it. But who can b so hard-hearted to let my dad stays home all day alone? I can't do it. I scarificed my time with frens and the fun to go home n fix him his dinner. I know i don do much .But at least i keep him company. When he goes to bed, i make sure everything is comfortable for him. My bro wouldn't giv a damn one lor pls. ANd who brings back the bloody money? ME lor? Im so tired cos i worked whole day and i come home and when my mom comes home from work at 10+pm she nags at me. Great lor. Juz a little wish... is it so hard? I know keeping a rabbit seems like it's such a trouble. It's so mafan for everyone. The toilet is practically onli for angel and mi to use. According to my mom, she's very annoyed with the fur flying all ard...difficult to clean up and it's unhygenic. She gets even more irritated when she tries to sweep the floor and everythjing starts flying......so i shd get rid of the rabbit or don let it come out often. Seriously man....JUST A SMALL LITTLE WISH. It's juz so simple. I jus wan to keep my rabbit. Is it that hard?
IN the past she told me that i'm making things so hard for her and making her so stressed up when she's aldy v stressed over life....sighz. So to make her happy i got to sacrifice angel and make myself sad rite? Do i always have to think for my family????? Is my family so different from the rest? When can i finally do the things i wanna do? ALot of plans have been shelved aside...cos y? i think for this family. If i don think for this family i wouldn't b spending so much time,effort and money on them. I'm doing wat i can aldy...wat more does she wan. When i finally get rid of the rabbit will she really b happy? Will she stop nagging? I don think so. Then wat is the damn pt.
I'm really sooooo sooo tired. Can ur hear how tired i am.....................................so drained................................................
Wat have i been doing? I juz told the whole world abt my problems, blogging away so happily when i shd b staining my samples.
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