Saturday, November 29, 2003 . 12:24 PM
complainy complainy complainy..............
went to peishan's bday party yesterday nite. Really didn't feel like going ...it's so far..pasir ris chalet leh. In the end i went lar i mean it's her 21st bday :) But i didn't enjoy myself lor.what do u expect? bday parties are like that. OR is it just me? I donoe. I have problems myself..i might be suffering from autism...haha no lar that's stupid. That's too extreme. I just donoe how to communicate and interact with others lar. I feel as if im suffering from super low selfesteem too..They are my closest grp of frens back in JC lor..we used to b so wild and everything but now i see them i can barely even joke with them. Nothing is wrong with them.It's just me..get the pic? I can't communicate with pple!!!! And i feel damn shitty abt tat...hai...damn down. I couldn't stay over cos my parents are leaving tomoro and i don wan them to feel that i still can stay out when they r leaving aldy. I think PS is quite dissppointed ..sorrie hai. And jieguang and Haolun didn't wan to stay either. But it's really not nice to not stay. They kept toking and discussing and joking and couldn't make up their damn decisions abt staying over or leaving...if they r leaving they could leave with me ..cos they all stay in clementi. In the end at 11.15 pm they decided to stay cos PS asked them to. ANd i couldn't take it no longer i asked Jiawei if he could give mi a lift (he's got a car) to the mrt..but it turned out by the time we reached pasir ris mrt they train was abt to leave aldy. I asked if he could send me home ....i know it's hard on him lar..it's so damn far...i knew he never liked the idea of driving all the way to clementi. BUt he said ok lor..nvm ..cos he always drive to Holland V every weekend anyway. So he drove me home. And we had a gd talk....just like normal friends. It's quite nice lor. It's just abit odd that we know so much abt each other's family and friends....he seemed so familar but yet so unfamilar at the same time. We talked abt which guyfrens are in NUS now and i've seen them ard etc..abt our families...and he told me thinking back army days seemed like the best time he had compared to studying now. I gez if not for the ride, we wouldnt' have the chance to talk properly. We haven't tok properly since we broke up. Glad for the ride home ..very glad..cos it only took half an hr. I totally was dreading the whole trip home the entire day.
And today..i really feel very sian...very down very upset. I was woken up at 9 again because of the construction works below my unit argh!!!And my parents are leaving tomoro!!! i'm damn sad lar...hai...mayb we all think that i would b happy cos i'll have all the freedom in the world isn't it? No lor...i'm damn upset whenever i think that i have to take care of myself again. hai
What a long entry today....I opened up today's TODAY(weekend) and saw an article by Dave Barry "afflected with MGD blindness" MDGB means Male genetic Dirt blindness -_- corny. sounds damn biological. anyway he was talking abt y men can't seem to relate to their feelings while women (actually more like his wife) could tell a 3 days worth of story on something that only lasted only for seconds...partly cos (he said) men has no feelings...he said whenever they appear to b thinking ,they just have this low-level humming sounds in their heads..that's y they always go "hmmmm" whenever gals talk.... ok put that aside.. So now i got the impression that guys have no feelings and they r dumb and their brains can't think anything besides being logical. rite? Always being so logical...donoe wat the guy species are thinking abt...now i damn well know WHY!!! COS THEY AREN'T THINKING MOST OF THE DAMN TIME. Their brains are empty. period.
GUys...guys..let me tell u this...gals don think like equations. A=B so B =C and therefore A=C.NO! stop telling me solutions pls. I don need solutions...i onli need understanding. understanding that y i'm like this or that...Nor can i understand y u're always telling me that there's no prob with me and i'm gona b ok when i damn well know that i DO have a prob here. WATEVER!!!!
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